The society should prepare young people for leadership role in government and in industry by teaching a sense of cooperation rather than competition

Essay topics:

The society should prepare young people for leadership role in government and in industry by teaching a sense of cooperation rather than competition

Children of today are leaders of tomorrow, therefore it is important that the appropriate skills required for leadership be instilled in them. This will enable the society to develop in love and cooperation that will take them to the next level. The writer contends that in preparing young people for leadership role in the government or industry establishment, the society should take it upon themselves to inculcate a sense of cooperation and not the spirit of competition in it young stars. I strongly disagree with the author and my points will be substantiated in the two outlines below.
To begin with with, while unhealthy competition can have a detrimental effect on the development of a society, a healthy amount of competition is also needed to further take the society to a higher ground. For example, in the pharmaceutical industry that deals with the production of drugs that cater for the health need of people in a community, unhealthy competition can be detrimental to the health of people in that society because the unhealthy competition can result in production of substandard drugs from a competitor in order to sell more product at a cheaper rate. If this situation occurs the life of the people of the community will be put in jeopardy.
Apart from this situation of unhealthy competition, competition is needed for the development of a society. It is competition that foster innovation and creativity. If competition is lacking in government institutions or in industries, people will become redundant at their work places thereby neglecting or even circumventing their duties because no one is competing with them. For example, as seen in this contemporary times, industries that have monotonous right in producing a particular product tend to misbehave most of the time by either unnecessarily inflating their prices or producing substandard product or even creating artificial scarcity of their product because they do not have competitors . Situation like this do not enhance the development of a society and so competition should be encouraged among youngsters.
In sum, while some might argue that cooperation foster peace and progress among youngster if encouraged to, unnecessary cooperation can be counterproductive if such cooperation is aimed against the wrong thing. It can make a society descend into anarchy. For example if the youngster in a society cooperates and gang up against a leader in a community because they believe a law is unjust instead of solving it amicable, they decided to cooperate and turn the society upside down. This will only serve to hamper peace and progress in the society. Therefore, I disagree that only a sense of cooperation and not competition be instilled in youngsters.

Votes
Average: 6.2 (1 vote)
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Essays by user Jumoke Victori… :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Children of today are leaders of tomorro...
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Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...bstantiated in the two outlines below. To begin with with, while unhealthy comp...
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Line 2, column 14, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: with
...n the two outlines below. To begin with with, while unhealthy competition can have a...
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Line 2, column 579, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...to sell more product at a cheaper rate. If this situation occurs the life of the p...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the community will be put in jeopardy. Apart from this situation of unhealthy c...
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Line 3, column 711, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...uct because they do not have competitors . Situation like this do not enhance the ...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...should be encouraged among youngsters. In sum, while some might argue that coop...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, so, still, therefore, while, apart from, for example, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.4196629213 121% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 33.0505617978 109% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 58.6224719101 125% => OK
Nominalization: 30.0 12.9106741573 232% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2301.0 2235.4752809 103% => OK
No of words: 442.0 442.535393258 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20588235294 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58517132086 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.15568677525 2.79657885939 113% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 215.323595506 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.4592760181 0.4932671777 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 738.9 704.065955056 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 92.1676672849 60.3974514979 153% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.352941176 118.986275619 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 23.4991977007 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.52941176471 5.21951772744 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 7.80617977528 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 10.2758426966 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 5.13820224719 195% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.32268918326 0.243740707755 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103523280226 0.0831039109588 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.120026956367 0.0758088955206 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.203562743276 0.150359130593 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0873778564051 0.0667264976115 131% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.1392134831 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 48.8420337079 75% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.1743820225 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.23 12.1639044944 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 100.480337079 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.