You are organizing a trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services and explain when you want to visit the Snowy Mountains how long you will stay how m

Essay topics:

You are organizing a trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services and explain
when you want to visit the Snowy Mountains,
how long you will stay,
how many students are in your party,
and what accommodation you will require.

Dear Mr. Jackson,

Following our telephone conversation, I am writing to provide you with some information with regard a trip to Snowy Mountains in New South Wales. As I mentioned, I am arranging a student trip including 15 students
The trip is supposed to be done from 15 to 20 of September. The group will be received at Sunday 15th, in the morning, but they will check in in the afternoon, therefore they will stay there for 5 nights.

In terms of accommodation, we would like to stay at double bed rooms, to have more privacy. Therefore, we need 8 rooms, for 15 students and me, of course. I would appreciate it if you provide us enough blankets as well as heaters, since the weather is expected to be a bit cold at this time of the year. Also, you have mentioned the price include breakfast; however, I would be grateful if you could send us the final price including dinner services.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Ylada Asgari.

Votes
Average: 6.7 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 214, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ing a student trip including 15 students The trip is supposed to be done from 15 ...
^^^
Line 4, column 140, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: in
...th, in the morning, but they will check in in the afternoon, therefore they will stay...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 11, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...orward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Ylada Asgari.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, so, therefore, well, of course, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 7.48453608247 80% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 4.92783505155 162% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 5.05154639175 40% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 0.0 3.03092783505 0% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 32.9175257732 64% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 26.3917525773 99% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 3.85567010309 78% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 802.0 937.175257732 86% => OK
No of words: 173.0 206.0 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.63583815029 4.54256449028 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.62669911048 3.78020617076 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7445997326 2.54303337028 108% => OK
Unique words: 110.0 127.690721649 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.635838150289 0.622605031667 102% => OK
syllable_count: 238.5 290.88556701 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.41237113402 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.13402061856 88% => OK
Article: 2.0 0.824742268041 243% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 1.83505154639 109% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.463917525773 216% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 1.44329896907 346% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 12.6804123711 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 16.3608247423 116% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.128956034 44.8134815571 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.1111111111 76.5299724578 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2222222222 16.8248392259 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 4.34317383033 184% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.29896907216 93% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 2.54639175258 118% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 7.41237113402 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.94845360825 101% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.263045850777 0.216113520407 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0912710684735 0.0766984524023 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0586804856973 0.0603063233224 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156746336232 0.12726935374 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0603011381754 0.0580467560999 104% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 8.37731958763 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 70.7449484536 98% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 7.45979381443 111% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.63 8.71597938144 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 7.59969072165 106% => OK
difficult_words: 38.0 41.2886597938 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 8.62886597938 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 8.54432989691 112% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 8.15463917526 123% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.