In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is observed in many nations that children are becoming more susceptible to obesity and pursuing a sedentary lifestyle. Although I acknowledge that authorities ought to bear the onus in tackling this issue, I would align myself with the opinion that parents and teachers need to be accountable.
On the one hand, a plethora of justifications has convinced me to advocate the former notion. Firstly, government is capable of implementing movements encouraging children to reduce the frequency of consuming unfavorable food. This could be perfectly exemplified by the fact that Ho Chi Minh authorities have launched campaigns at local educational institutions in order to make students aware of the deleterious impacts of fast food on their health. As a result, they are inclined to cut down the consumption of this detrimental type of food to prevent from being overweight. Furthermore, government is sufficient in money to spare for erecting more sports facilities in playgrounds specialised for children. This is because when getting access to these playgrounds, children tend to do exercises, which can not only help to reduce the risk of being obese and unhealthy but also assist them in enhancing their health.
On the other hand, there are a host of factors persuading me to concede that it is better for other individuals to have responsibility. The first reason is that if parents have strict controls on their offspring in terms of the consumption of detrimental food, they are less prone to be overweight owing to the fact that children tend to adhere to their parents’ instructions. To illustrate, but for the controls of my best friend’s parents relating to eating fast food, he would be overweight and suffer from numerous diseases like hypertession or troke. Hence, parents ought to spend more time taking care of the health and the diets of their children. Moreover, schools’ teachers are able to add more classes relating to health and obesity to the curriculums. For instance, some secondary schools throughout Vietnam have done this practice to help their students to broaden their mind with activities that are useful in making them healthy and keep fit. Ultimately, the number of secondary pupils being obese has decreased substantially.
In conclusion, explicitly, it is indisputable that authorities should be responsible for solving this perennial problem; nevertheless ; I want to affirm that other people like parents or teachers also serve such a fundamental role in assiting children in having a healthy lifestyle. Therefore, if government and relatives of children can join hand to deal with this issue, the average of their health would be enhanced.
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 32, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'hosts'?
Suggestion: hosts
...ealth. On the other hand, there are a host of factors persuading me to concede tha...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, if, moreover, nevertheless, second, so, therefore, for instance, in conclusion, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 13.1623246493 167% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 24.0651302605 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 41.998997996 169% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2272.0 1615.20841683 141% => OK
No of words: 430.0 315.596192385 136% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28372093023 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.20363070211 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05496294512 2.80592935109 109% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 176.041082164 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.541860465116 0.561755894193 96% => OK
syllable_count: 693.0 506.74238477 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 5.43587174349 166% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.852807128 49.4020404114 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.647058824 106.682146367 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.2941176471 20.7667163134 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.23529411765 7.06120827912 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.141943035452 0.244688304435 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0446278097459 0.084324248473 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0359263355959 0.0667982634062 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0919578326615 0.151304729494 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0238965697545 0.056905535591 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 13.0946893788 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 50.2224549098 92% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 11.3001002004 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 12.4159519038 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.95 8.58950901804 104% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 78.4519038076 141% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 9.78957915832 133% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 32, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'hosts'?
Suggestion: hosts
...ealth. On the other hand, there are a host of factors persuading me to concede tha...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, if, moreover, nevertheless, second, so, therefore, for instance, in conclusion, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 13.1623246493 167% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 24.0651302605 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 41.998997996 169% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2272.0 1615.20841683 141% => OK
No of words: 430.0 315.596192385 136% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28372093023 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.20363070211 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05496294512 2.80592935109 109% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 176.041082164 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.541860465116 0.561755894193 96% => OK
syllable_count: 693.0 506.74238477 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 5.43587174349 166% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.852807128 49.4020404114 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.647058824 106.682146367 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.2941176471 20.7667163134 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.23529411765 7.06120827912 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.141943035452 0.244688304435 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0446278097459 0.084324248473 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0359263355959 0.0667982634062 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0919578326615 0.151304729494 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0238965697545 0.056905535591 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 13.0946893788 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 50.2224549098 92% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 11.3001002004 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 12.4159519038 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.95 8.58950901804 104% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 78.4519038076 141% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 9.78957915832 133% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.