Some people say that subjects like arts music drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable Do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, some people believe that a timetable should be rearranged by school to add more subjects which are related to arts, music, drama or creative writing. I completely agree with this assertion that the timetable should expand the number of subjects which are educated at school.
Despite some negatives, I personally believe that this is a positive trend to add more subjects which children should be taught at school. The trend increases the likelihood which children get more opportunities to find which subjects they are interested in. Finding their own dreams, nowadays, is important for young individuals to pursue and do what they love. For example, the governments in Thailand have incentivized schools to add more subjects such arts, drama and music to children’s timetable to enhance their knowledge. Expanding the children’s knowledge in a variety of fields can alter the whole next generation, even level up the society.
Another reason why I strongly support this idea is that adding more subjects which are related to the art field increases the ability of creation in their children’ minds. In fact, this is prominent because the current recruiters give a place on the abilities which stimulate young people to brainstorm. For example, in the Apple’s entrance test, people are always required to think out of the box to give a novel idea to contribute to the company. Therefore, if children can practice this skill when they are kids, it will be a huge perk to pass the entrance to international chains.
In conclusion, I fully support the view that school should rearrange their timetable to add more subjects which are related to the art field to boost their creation and thoughts, which can bring us many merits in the future.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 225, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...can bring us many merits in the future.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, so, therefore, for example, in conclusion, in fact

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 7.85571142285 102% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 10.4138276553 38% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 7.30460921844 205% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 24.0 24.0651302605 100% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 41.998997996 93% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1479.0 1615.20841683 92% => OK
No of words: 291.0 315.596192385 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0824742268 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.13022058845 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73146378623 2.80592935109 97% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 176.041082164 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.525773195876 0.561755894193 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 445.5 506.74238477 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.2975951904 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.2218762337 49.4020404114 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.25 106.682146367 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.25 20.7667163134 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.91666666667 7.06120827912 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.9879759519 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.29191764288 0.244688304435 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.117571011527 0.084324248473 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0811317895866 0.0667982634062 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.191507674928 0.151304729494 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0716506566229 0.056905535591 126% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 13.0946893788 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 50.2224549098 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.4159519038 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.58950901804 95% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 78.4519038076 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.1190380762 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.