Government should spend money for music or sport project
In many countries, government endorsement of entertainment fields suchlike sport and music has become a contentious issue of debate among sociologists and caused quite a stir in numerous circles and camps. Different people may give various types of responses to this question based upon their social, cultural or even familial backgrounds. However, when it comes to me, I conspicuously declare that, government’s support of these activities could be a huge aid for establishing these cultural values. Among the most predominant reasons in support of this contention, increasing social level of amenity, and discovering new talents could be picked out for further analysis.
To commence with, there is a unanimous hypothesis that, alongside with modern urbanization people requirement of having hobbies should be gaining momentum. Since people’s life has become more difficult with regards to modernization, governments should support music and sport projects to stimulate people cope with their problems. A brief assessment in this area discloses this proved claim that, while some people like to work all the time, the great majority of them like to have exciting hobbies such as attending sport games and music concerts. Consequently critical decision must be made aimed at paving the road for people in order to enjoy their lives. I remember when I was conducting a survey as sociology student on the positive effects of flourishing music industry, I became astonishingly impressed when I found out that, in countries such as England and United States where the governments supports musicians, the level of happiness is increasingly high among the citizens of these countries.
Beside the aforementioned point, raising prodigies in these fields could play a pivotal role in order to accentuate society’s image and thrive cultural values. Many scholars elaborate this idea by emphasizing the indisputable fact that, although every country needs pioneer scientist and inventors, it also requires idols in other fields like sports and music to demonstrate its prevalent culture and tradition. The veracity of this claim can be objectively evaluated through a meticulous observation on the mass of evidences. To be more impartial, some insightful minds could assert that, since the first goal of every country is economy enhancement the unnecessary budget for sports and music should be cut out. But a growing body of evidences supports this inevitable phenomenon that, all countries with stable economies have endorsed their music and sport both financially and internationally.
To put it in a nutshell, although many sophisticated people may prove the otherwise, I reiterate that, the governments have to consider these fields as a path to get in to people’s heart. Back to the beginning controversial question, I cite a clear bias in favor of this undeniable fact that, social amenity depends on these fields therefore governments have to facilitate issues related to them. To recapitulate, not only it increase people’s sense of happiness, but it also nurtures new talents and heighten country’s image.
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Sentence: To commence with, there is a unanimous hypothesis that, alongside with modern urbanization people requirement of having hobbies should be gaining momentum.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and requirement
governments should support music and sport projects to stimulate people cope with their problems
governments should support music and sport projects to stimulate people coping with their problems
governments should support music and sport projects to stimulate people to cope with their problems
not only it increase people’s sense of happiness,
not only does it increase people’s sense of happiness,
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 482 350
No. of Characters: 2577 1500
No. of Different Words: 272 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.686 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.346 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.959 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 191 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 151 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 82 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.353 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.778 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.509 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5