Governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state sponsored Olympic teams

Essay topics:

Governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

I agree. I think that governments should spend money in support of art instead of wasting money on supporting athletics. Below are three reasons to support my claim.

To begin with, governments have budget concern, and preserving art can not only saves money for the governments but also brings revenue for them. For example, several years ago, the Taiwanese government renovated The Palace Museum. Although it cost three billion dollars to redecorate the museum, the number of people visited increased ten times than before. Surprisingly, the profit brought by the museum accounts for ten percent of the Taiwanese government's annual revenue now. On the other hand, if the government spends a budget on supporting athletics to join the Olympic games, once they lose the game at the very first beginning, the money is totally wasted.

For another reason, I believe that the government should care about the mental health of citizens. Since art can comfort people and bring happiness to them, the government is responsible for supporting art. To be more specific, nowadays, many people are stressed out because of their jobs, and appreciating artwork soothe their heart and makes them relax. For instance, if a government sponsors holding free exhibits, people can appreciate the painting in the exhibitions rather than staying at home for the whole weekend. Therefore, the overall well-being of people will improve due to the arts.

Last but not least, I would argue that governments exist for helping the disadvantaged group. Also, many artists give up their dreams in order to survive. If the government can support artist, they can pursue their dream. Take my friend Amy for example, when she graduated from the department of art, she can hardly find a job because the positions related to pure art are rare in Taiwan. To survive, she ended up being a salesperson. If the government could sponsor her ten thousand every month for a year, she was more likely to find a suitable job instead of surrendering herself to the work she dislikes.

In sum, I firmly believe that governments should focus on supporting arts, instead of spending money on athletic, as governments should consider factors such as how to manage their budgets, how to improve the mental health of citizens, and how they could help those people in disadvantage. All of these can be satisfied with sponsoring arts, while I am not certain supporting athletics alone can do the same.

Votes
Average: 9 (2 votes)
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Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 81, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'can' requires base form of the verb: 'save'
Suggestion: save
...oncern, and preserving art can not only saves money for the governments but also brin...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 157, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...fort people and bring happiness to them, the government is responsible for suppor...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, so, therefore, well, while, for example, for instance, i think, such as, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 43.0788530466 77% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2058.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 405.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08148148148 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48604634366 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6870914193 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.562962962963 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 617.4 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.2364953674 48.9658058833 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.9 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.25 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.35 5.45110844103 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.344882193992 0.236089414692 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0972557253183 0.076458572812 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.104357696213 0.0737576698707 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.224098544117 0.150856017488 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0987615564114 0.0645574589148 153% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.