One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take part-time job.
Today as it is commonly sensed, people are far more aware of their parental responsibilities in guiding their children toward a shining future in every area from privacy and social life to education and working. In this tumultuous life, some parents prefer to influence teenagers to persuade them to take a part-time job in order to reach their aims in the future, while others believe otherwise. Personally, I subscribe to the first viewpoint on the ground of two reasons that I will describe/represent hereunder.
To begin with, I strongly believe that finding the appropriate job that satisfies our unique perfectionism spirits/morale and becoming a successful person in that area are the most significant/considerable things in our life, which has an excessive impact on the whole life direction. Therefore, teenagers that are seeking for part-time job benefit from a chance to discover their potential skills and interests. So, it provides an opportunity for them to find the appropriate job that requires his or her unique skills and they will flourish their talents and be a prospering person in the future. Also, they find their character defects in a concrete situation thus, they may have a big chance to improve his or her self-management skills to be a prosperous person in the future. Imagine a student that has a part-time job in a supermarket get into trouble with a purchaser about the expiration date of a product if he or she learns how to deal with these simple problems, they can face another trouble easier. Thus, I think doing a part-time job has some advantages for children, since, it helps them become successful in their business.
Second, in my opinion, taking a job after school time makes them financially independent so they learn a lot of lessons about financial management that are precious experiences. Since most adults are less risky and make a decision in a way their wealth does not harm because they are more responsible than teenagers, doing part-time job provides an opportunity for them to gain experiences in a real-life with the low responsibility. learning the value of money and the efforts are required to obtain it make teenagers more careful about their daily unnecessary paying for some valueless products. Some people believe that working is so early for teenagers and they should only educate and it prone to less time for entertainment, but strongly disagree with it because students can go out and have fun in the weekends too. Also, It is better to learn their lessons in the class.
To draw a conclusion grounded on the above statements, I think the advantages of taking a part-time job outweigh those of not doing this. Working helps students to be financially independent and also, provides an opportunity to discover their skills, improve them and learn self-management. So for these reasons, I agree with encouraging teenagers to take a job after school.
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- Parents today are more involved in their children s education than were parents in the past 73
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 435, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Learning
...real-life with the low responsibility. learning the value of money and the efforts are ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 505, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
...d the efforts are required to obtain it make teenagers more careful about their dail...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, so, therefore, thus, while, i think, in my opinion, on the whole, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2437.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 482.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05601659751 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09873854583 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495850622407 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 770.4 618.680645161 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 58.2191896924 48.9658058833 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.352941176 100.406767564 143% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.3529411765 20.6045352989 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.70588235294 5.45110844103 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.391201078951 0.236089414692 166% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.129393554277 0.076458572812 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0818224603696 0.0737576698707 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.249604901822 0.150856017488 165% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00425684128142 0.0645574589148 7% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 11.7677419355 141% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 58.1214874552 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 10.1575268817 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.66 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 86.8835125448 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.