Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is crystal clear that parents always have been tried to encourage their children to have the best performance in school. So many methods introduced to improve student’s learning process. One of the most controversial among all of them is giving money as the prize. There are many debates among individuals whether money offering is a convincing approach in learning improvement or not. From my point of view, it could be helpful, because it proves to the children the importance of studying, and also money could be a harmless motivation. I will delve into the mentioned reasons in the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, parents could use money prize as an example to show their children that their hard work in school is paying off. To be more specific, children cannot see action and consequences as obvious as adult persons can. Sometimes it is hard for children to interpret why they should study and learn course materials. They cannot see it apparently that studying will help their career perspective and, as a consequence, their life’s quality. Indeed, parents with denoting money can help children to see the positive results of studying in such a more desirable way. Children can see why studying is affective in their lives in a way that they actually can understand and feel. When they find their reason, money prize, it is easier to convince them to pay more attention to the concepts, and increase their performance.
Moreover, all people, especially youngers, need motivation to do something challenging, and money reward could be an excellent one. Studying, and doing homework is an arduous task for a child that has great tend to spend all of his time playing. Doing such a challenging task for children needs to be transformed into a more pleasant shape. Giving money as a gift to buy ice-cream or up to date dolls could be an effective way to encourage children and make easier the way of studying to them. As an instance, when I was 9 years old, I can remember I loved the Barbie dolls. The Barbie dolls were so fancy and trend in those days. My father promised me that if I get an A+ mark in math, he will buy it for me. I was so potential in math. However, I was reluctant to study it, because it was boring to me. I found my motivation and studied math. Finally, I wone the doll, and got the highest score in the class. That score was a cornerstone in choosing mathematic as my major in the university.
To sum up, I vehemently reckon that parents use money as a present for their kids for their high scores. Not only is it a fantastic idea to make children interested in studying, but it also effective to convince them why studying is a critical step in their lives.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 34, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[7]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'have' and 'been'.
Suggestion: have always been
It is crystal clear that parents always have been tried to encourage their children to ha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 182, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to process'
Suggestion: to process
...ntroduced to improve student’s learning process. One of the most controversial among al...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 310, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to course'
Suggestion: to course
...terpret why they should study and learn course materials. They cannot see it apparentl...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, apparently, but, finally, first, however, if, moreover, so, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2235.0 1977.66487455 113% => OK
No of words: 477.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.68553459119 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67336384929 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6915757117 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.501048218029 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 682.2 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.6160995553 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.7777777778 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6666666667 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.14814814815 5.45110844103 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230398990924 0.236089414692 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0573985870679 0.076458572812 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0591277710392 0.0737576698707 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147777092893 0.150856017488 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0519270854572 0.0645574589148 80% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 11.7677419355 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.63 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.