Younger school children ages five to ten should be required to study art and music in addition to math language science and history

Essay topics:

Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, language, science and history.

A lot of people think that the academic subject, such as math, language, science, and history are the most important subjects for younger school children, so the other subject can neglect and eliminate from the school course. However, in my opinion, every subject is equally important, and the arts and music courses for younger school children are the essential parts of the school education for the following reasons.

To begin with, the arts and music education can help student to release the pressure from the daily academic course. Though seeing the master piece in every arts scope and listening to the gorgeous works of famous composer, children can gain the ability to taste the beautiful things and wipe out all the pressure from the boring academic subject. On the other hand, releasing the pressure periodically also have positive effect on the grade of academic subjects.

Also, learning the arts and music can help student to find their hobby or even their future duty. Many school, especially the school in Taiwan, only focus on academic subjects and ignore the true potential of some students, who may be the genius in arts or music, but they could not do well on some academic subjects. Therefore, we have to give children as broader education as possible, thus they can find their true duty in the future. If we do not teach the arts and musics in school, we limit the possibility of our children.

In short, in spit of some people argue that all children have to do is focusing on academic subject, arts and music is the essential parts of school education, because children can releasing pressure and develop their interest through studying the arts and musics.

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so the other subject can neglect and eliminate from the school course
so the other subjects can be neglected and eliminated from the school course

Many school,
Many schools,

in spit of some people argue
Description: Check books how to use 'in spite of',

all children have to do is focusing on academic subject, arts and music is the essential parts of school education
what children have to do is focusing on academic subject, arts and music which is the essential parts of school education

because children can releasing pressure and develop
because children can release pressure and develop

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Different Words: 135 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 17 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 285 350
No. of Characters: 1362 1500
No. of Different Words: 135 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.109 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.779 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.283 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.992 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.46 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.676 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.183 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5