Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
According to the argument, deer populations have been reduced because of global warming and hunters, but there are various reasons for the decline in the deer populations which are unstated in the argument.
Firstly, environmental disruption might have occurred in Canada’s arctic regions because of which deers were unable to survive. Heavy rainfall might have occurred in that region or because of the climate changes also deers were unable to survive. As their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold, in some areas they were unable to get food or unable to tolerate the temperature.
Secondly, as reports are collected from the local hunters there is no proof that the reports are correct. Local hunters might have given wrong information so that no other hunters would come there to haunt the deers. Therefore there is a possibility that there is no decline in the population of the deers.
Because of the disease among the deers which might have widespread among them might have caused the decline in the deer populations. Because of the hereditary problems facing among the beers might have caused for the decline in the deer populations.
The author doesn't provide the sufficient information and proof why the deer population has been declined? The author mentions only the global warming as the reason but doesn’t provide the evidence
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not exactly.
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/arctic-deer-live-i…
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flaws:
No. of Words: 232 350
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 232 350
No. of Characters: 1144 1500
No. of Different Words: 109 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.903 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.931 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.441 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 80 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 18 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.091 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.082 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.431 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.431 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.245 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 217, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...rs would come there to haunt the deers. Therefore there is a possibility that there is no...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 307, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...decline in the population of the deers. Because of the disease among the deers which mi...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 12, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ne in the deer populations. The author doesnt provide the sufficient information and ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, second, secondly, so, therefore
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 8.0 28.8173652695 28% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 55.5748502994 49% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1180.0 2260.96107784 52% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 230.0 441.139720559 52% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13043478261 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.89432290496 4.56307096286 85% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59452673875 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 109.0 204.123752495 53% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.473913043478 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 372.6 705.55239521 53% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.546650697 57.8364921388 60% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 107.272727273 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9090909091 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.27272727273 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17839032608 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0686945004408 0.0743258471296 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.093838414845 0.0701772020484 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0871517559401 0.128457276422 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0837730283461 0.0628817314937 133% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 56.0 98.500998004 57% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.