Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The way that parents are rewarding their children has always been a controversial issue among parents. While some parents believe that it could be a kind of motivation for children, there are others holding the view that this sort of behavior would be some defect in children education. As far as I am concerned, the second opinion has a better result in their future. I will discuss my standpoint hereunder.

The first point that juts out of the mind is the fact that if the children had rewarded, they would have forgotten the main purpose of education. Everyone knows that children go to school to learn knowledge and things that could be useful for them in their future career or life. Moreover, if they are a lettered one, they will have a good prestige in the society. my means if the child is a hard working person and get a high grade at the school and so on in the next step, at the university, he/she would gather their harvest with a great job in the future. Consequently, parents must learn their children, if we offer you a reward that is just for motivation and they must not forget the main purpose of education and be rewarding.

The second point that is worth considering is the fact that the result of rewarding might make children conditional. that means they expect a reward for every routine, they do during a day. An example can illustrate this more clearly. Imagine a child, who were rewarded for every high grade. After a period of that, when a child is conditional, he would expect to get a reward for other duty, like as does homework, teeth brushes and so on. this defect may happen between a child and her/his friends too, ‘All right I will help you my friend, but you must pay to me’. this way a student might be alone and lose her/his friends. As a result, that is better parents give a present, not just money, and gift that just might be at the end of the semester and not every week.

To make a long story short, the way that parents are rewarding their children might have some defect. so they must consider it in mind and take care about it. Two main reasons discussed here, first the main purpose of education and second, make child conditional. All in all, parents can give a gift to their children but the reasons for this gift and defects that may have might be concerned.

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Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 366, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: My
...ll have a good prestige in the society. my means if the child is a hard working pe...
^^
Line 5, column 118, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...arding might make children conditional. that means they expect a reward for every ro...
^^^^
Line 5, column 580, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... friend, but you must pay to me'. this way a student might be alone and lose h...
^^^^
Line 7, column 103, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
... their children might have some defect. so they must consider it in mind and take ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, if, may, moreover, second, so, while, kind of, sort of, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 9.8082437276 224% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 36.0 52.1666666667 69% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1913.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 422.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.53317535545 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39642828684 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.473933649289 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 575.1 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.1142163515 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.0952380952 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0952380952 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.42857142857 5.45110844103 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.245006942453 0.236089414692 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0709409618885 0.076458572812 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0426062794041 0.0737576698707 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155767405254 0.150856017488 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0366785608862 0.0645574589148 57% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 11.7677419355 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.99 10.9000537634 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.99 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 86.8835125448 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.