In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

Essay topics:

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

People’s opinions differ as to whether children ought to take part in some kinds of paid jobs or focus totally on their study. While opponents disagree with doing paid work at the early ages, I still believe that it is necessary for the maturation process of children.

First of all, children may absorb and heighten many social experiences and skills such as good manners, communication skills or leadership skills, which help them complete themselves, adapt to different living conditions and solve many sudden situations. Some children also have time management skills because they need to arrange the time properly to balance their study and work.

Second, doing paid jobs plays a vital role in learning and taking responsibility. Due to the fact that if children cannot complete their tasks on time, it will lead to a bunch of unexpected results as well as failures not only for them but also for their workplace. Moreover, they are likely to understand the financial burden put on parents' shoulders and realize the way to use money more reasonably and wisely before making any personal decisions like buying milk tea or purchasing clothes.

Last but not least, children will have a lot of future benefits. They have a good background, and it is beneficial for them to fulfill their CV when they apply to a company. Especially, many well-known companies prioritize people who have many social skills as well as prior experiences. Besides, they can widen their relationship which is a good opportunity for their job prospects in the future. Additionally, few children perhaps recognize their true hobbies or ambitions before doing those types of career during their childhood.

In conclusion, I believe that some kinds of paid work many brings many positive sides to children when doing them

Votes
Average: 8.9 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 31, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
People's opinions differ as to whether children ought to take part in some kin...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the maturation process of children. First of all, children may absorb and he...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rly to balance their study and work. Second, doing paid jobs plays a vital ro...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ying milk tea or purchasing clothes. Last but not least, children will have a...
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Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...es of career during their childhood. In conclusion, I believe that some kinds...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, if, may, moreover, second, so, still, well, while, as to, in conclusion, such as, as well as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 13.1623246493 30% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 24.0651302605 116% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 41.998997996 76% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1518.0 1615.20841683 94% => OK
No of words: 295.0 315.596192385 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14576271186 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14434120667 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72995238896 2.80592935109 97% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 176.041082164 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.606779661017 0.561755894193 108% => OK
syllable_count: 456.3 506.74238477 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.76152304609 21% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.994310112 49.4020404114 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.769230769 106.682146367 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6923076923 20.7667163134 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.2307692308 7.06120827912 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222629428847 0.244688304435 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0854553446112 0.084324248473 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0711475663078 0.0667982634062 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150945545242 0.151304729494 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0774010238141 0.056905535591 136% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 13.0946893788 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 50.2224549098 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 11.3001002004 95% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.4159519038 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.96 8.58950901804 104% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 78.4519038076 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 9.78957915832 143% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.