5. A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The memo expects that the residents of Mentia will suffer less from headaches through adding salicylates, chemical substance similar to aspirin, to flavor additives. The memo anticipates the increased use of salicylates will be helpful in alleviating headaches on the evidence of the 20 year research which represents the correlation between the increased commercial use of salicylates and the decline of the reported number of headaches. However, this assumption expectation needs two more explanations to make it sustainable.
First, the memo clearly induced induces the relation between the rise of commercial use of salicylates and the decreased frequency of headaches. However, this finding does not prove that processed foods have actually reduced headaches. Since, there can be numerous different applications of the commercial uses of salicylates, the salicylates which have been used to foods as preservatives may be merely one of the many factors which are providingprovide salicylates to experiment participants. If, salicylates are widely used to make everyday supplies, for example such as a medicine, cosmetics or a air fresheners, and etcetera, the actual effectiveness of salicylates from foods preservatives is limited. The memo should have produced showed the evidence that the effectiveness of salicylates is mainly caused by the preservative usage.
Second, the effectiveness of adding salicylates to food as flavor additives might not be effective as the memo expects. If the amount of newly added Salicylates for flavor purposes may not beis ineffective in reducing headaches, the memo’s prediction would not be acceptable. ThereforeInstead, the memo should provide the amount of salicylates which will be used as flavor additives to the current amount of salicylates which is being used as preservatives. In addition, the difference from the process of adding salicylates in the food between preservatives and flavor additives might significantly affect the medical effectiveness of salicylates. [Add more ideas] To support the assumptionprediction, the memo should test give the fact that there is the effectiveness of salicylates of the two different uses is identical in alleviating headaches problems.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK.
flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
better to have 5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 332 350
No. of Characters: 1863 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.269 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.611 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.384 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 74 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.538 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.536 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.434 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.56 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5