"Prevention is better than cure."
Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures.
Some individuals hold the opinion that every country should spend a huge percentage of their budget on medical research to advance medicine to treat human diseases. Having such a perception, people seem to have forgotten the common phrase "An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure."
Furthermore, advocates in this view, believe that there are many serious diseases that still impossible to prevent and some are genetics factors, such as down's syndrome, huntington's disease and cystic fibrosis, just three example which until now there are no treatments available and are truly life damaging.
However, I strongly disagree with the opinion expressed above. For me, I believe there are many chronic diseases we can avoid in the future. For example congestive heart failure, hypertension and stroke. These conditions related to lifestyle are preventable if people have more self discipline and enough knowledge to prevent them.
In addition, we cannot deny the fact that treatments for various disease are very expensive and there is no guarantee they will heal completely. Take the case of malignant disease cancer. This disease is expensive to treat with very intensive procedures and hard to prevent because majority of this disease is hereditary. But if people are more aware of their family health background, practice healthy living, have proper exercise, healthy diet, avoid too much stress and have regular medical check ups. Then the combination of all these things. I am sure will help people to combat the disease.
Moreover, early detection is a 100% key to prevent any serious diseases and health is essential for the progress of every nation. With the collaboration of government funds and medical experts to educate about preventive measures and people involvement, it is a guarantee of having a healthier generation.
Based on my experience, I learned that my grandparents died because of a heart attack. So now I am turning 40 I am starting to be careful of what I eat, more determined to lose weight and do more walking exercise to avoid future disease due to aging.
In conclusion, I believe that prevention is better than cure because treatment is expensive and no guarantee to eradicate completely the disease. With prevention it is a low cost to educate people how to avoid certain diseases in the future. Through education and early detection people can live happier and healthier.
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flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
better to have 4-5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
or:
para 1: introduction
para 2: idea one.
para 3: however, idea two
para 4: in my opinion...
Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 392 350
No. of Characters: 1978 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.45 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.046 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.702 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.8 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.285 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.578 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5