some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere To what extent do you agree with this view

Essay topics:

some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

In our society, the arts is not only a merely entertainment tool but also plays an important role in economy in particular and the mental life of humans in general espacially in this era when there is a lot of people are under pressure of learning, money... However, a group of people believe that the government is burning a hole in their pocket because they invest too much money in the arts. To this opinion, I think I agree with it.

First of all, let's see why I agree. Each of countries which wants to have a sustainable development has to try their best to develop all aspects like economy, politics,etc. So, the problem is spending too much money on beautiful statues or imposing opera theatres will break the bank and stagnate the repair and maintenance work of road system, infrastructure as well as health facilities and schools...In order to build up a country, money should be paid for healthcare and public facilities and by doing this, the life of citizens can be improved and the nation's well-being will be increased. Secondly, as we all know almost works of art have to be pay through the nose but the effect that they produce is not worth the money that is spent. For example, the monument of Kebangkitan Palahwan costed about 1 billion rubiahs but in reality, it does not interest people that much. Finally, we have to accept the fact that the arts is not the core value in the life of humans. If a person does not have money, food or something like that, they cannot continue to live but without the arts, there is not serious influence here.

On the other hand, I still encourage the government to provide expense for many art center because these centers can help us to protect and spread the national identity. Besides, spiritual life of citizens can be more various and happier. Moreover, via arts, we can broadcast and attract more travelers to travel in our country and from there, the tourism can have an awesome revenue. Like foreign people really love Vietnam'culture so each year, this nation welcome a great amount of foreign travelers.

To sum up, I agree that our government should not pay a big buck for the arts. Supplying expense for many art center or concert to serve politics, tourism and the spiritual life of people is good but not too much or we will destroy the growth of other aspects.

Votes
Average: 5.9 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 38, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('merely') instead an adjective, or a noun ('entertainment') instead of another adjective.
In our society, the arts is not only a merely entertainment tool but also plays an important role i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 168, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , etc
...velop all aspects like economy, politics,etc. So, the problem is spending too much m...
^^^^
Line 3, column 404, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...well as health facilities and schools...In order to build up a country, money shou...
^^
Line 3, column 553, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the life of citizens can be improved and the nations well-being will be increased...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, finally, first, however, if, moreover, really, second, secondly, so, still, well, as to, for example, i think, in general, in particular, as well as, first of all, to sum up, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 10.4138276553 202% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 24.0651302605 133% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 41.998997996 126% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1924.0 1615.20841683 119% => OK
No of words: 413.0 315.596192385 131% => OK
Chars per words: 4.65859564165 5.12529762239 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.20363070211 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54371923304 2.80592935109 91% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 176.041082164 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.556900726392 0.561755894193 99% => OK
syllable_count: 596.7 506.74238477 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 6.0 2.52805611222 237% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 89.4915324207 49.4020404114 181% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.25 106.682146367 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8125 20.7667163134 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.25 7.06120827912 188% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.234187644147 0.244688304435 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0730016464363 0.084324248473 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0688686396996 0.0667982634062 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140513567394 0.151304729494 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0756163984927 0.056905535591 133% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 13.0946893788 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 63.02 50.2224549098 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 11.3001002004 95% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 12.4159519038 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.58950901804 95% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 78.4519038076 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.