People should relax and have activities different from their work.
Nowadays, occupation is one of the most significant parts of people's lives and even their personality. While for some, their job is their major interest and hobby, I believe that individuals should take some distance from their work and take a breath in their free time to have some fun and physical activites.
To begin with, a healthy and successful life should have different aspects. There should be a balance between professional life, personal life, and family life; there should be a balance between these to have a beautiful life, similar to a triangle with three angles. If individuals just focus on their life without any room for hobbies and other activites, they might experience fatigue and burnout. Where as having intertainments and leisure time will hepl them to be more creative and productive in their jobs. These activities boot one's mood by releasing helpful hormons. My own experience in my first job is a compelling exaple to ellabrate this. Following my garduation, I started a job as an engineer in a top-tier company. I wanted to be perfect and grow in my career; therefore, I worked over time and even during weekends, but after six month I became tired and I got stucked. However, when I stopped working too much and taking some time to rest and working out, my performance improved.
Second, these extra activities are great opportinities to meet new people and expand our social network. Focusing on their jobs and hanging out with their coworkers, people would not be able to make friends out of their workplace. As a result they loose the chance to becom familiar with others' lives and their mindsets. Take the example of a data scientist, this person in the workplace merely interacts with other scientist and STEM people, working on data, graphs, and algorithm. Indeed, hanging out with other people working in othre sectors, say artists, will help broadening her horizon. She can go to an art gallery or a museum with her artist friends during weekend, experiencing a new atmosphere and learning about other disciplines. Such a person, would have an all-round personal development resulting in higher life satisfaction.
To conclude, it is necessary for people to take some time have fun in an environment irrelevant to their job to improve thier moods and having the opportinity to learn about others' perspectives.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-09-10 | tedyang777 | view | |
| 2023-09-10 | tedyang777 | view | |
| 2023-09-10 | tedyang777 | view | |
| 2023-06-22 | meet96301 | 73 | view |
| 2023-06-11 | danielkim736 | 83 | view |
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 402, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Whereas'?
Suggestion: Whereas
...y might experience fatigue and burnout. Where as having intertainments and leisure time ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 537, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ve in their jobs. These activities boot ones mood by releasing helpful hormons. My o...
^^^^
Line 3, column 848, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'months'.
Suggestion: months
...and even during weekends, but after six month I became tired and I got stucked. Howev...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 572, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to broaden' or 'broaden'.
Suggestion: to broaden; broaden
...n othre sectors, say artists, will help broadening her horizon. She can go to an art galle...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, so, therefore, while, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.0286738351 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1967.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 392.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01785714286 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76315786538 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.579081632653 0.524837075471 110% => OK
syllable_count: 616.5 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.9201853414 48.9658058833 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.526315789 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.6315789474 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.26315789474 5.45110844103 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.316033906309 0.236089414692 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0862716658535 0.076458572812 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0673373146714 0.0737576698707 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.198082911967 0.150856017488 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0513020201047 0.0645574589148 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 11.7677419355 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.7 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.