Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals.
Discuss both views and give your opinion?
Singular tradition is a contributing factor which distinguishes a country from others. Therefore, to some individuals, they should be upheld by youthful generations; however, other people assert that the youngsters should have the freedom to do what they want. Both views on the matter will be discussed and my personal perspective presented in the following essay.
That tradition is something belonging to a matter of choice is proposed by people valuing individuals’ free will which probably derives from their different perception. For instance, young residents in Eastern countries travel rather than stay at home during New Year’s celebrations because most of them relish unwinding from stress after a long hectic year and refuse to adhere to conventional household customs. From their outlook, some groups of traditions have become obsolete, and are no longer suitable in today’s society. The younger generations, thus, should freely express their selection according to their adapted sets of values.
Nonetheless, I would argue that opponents of cultural elimination neglect the finest attribute of traditions: molding national identity. Different nations have their unique sets of behaviors and etiquettes, whereby resistance to exotic cultural influence are firmly established. For example, the Vietnamese community in the US still celebrate Lunar New Year and exchange red envelopes. No matter how long they reside overseas, they are not mingled by the impact of Western values. By preserving national traditions, they indirectly teach adolescents to respect and appreciate the beauty of national identity. The young generations will later grow up feeling proud of and treasuring such intangible cultural heritages – conventional customs and traditions.
In summary, although some people keep desiring full autonomy to abandon traditions, I think the preservation should be chosen as it is the precious tool that shape their national identity.
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You have grammatical issues, one example:
wrong:
That tradition is something belonging to a matter of choice is proposed by people...
correct:
That tradition is something belonging to a matter of choice which is proposed by people...
or:
That tradition is something belonging to a matter of choice proposed by people...
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 291 350
No. of Characters: 1627 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.13 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.591 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.843 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.786 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.624 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.308 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.047 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5