The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid — a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil — as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In West Meria Public Health Council report, it is stated that to ebb the no of absentees in work and school West marine people should increase the consumption on fish and its by product- Ichthaid. The author came to this conclusion based on the report that nearby East Marine, where fish consumption is high, has very low number of patients suffering from cold. However, before this recommendation three questions should be answered.
Firstly, validity of the report itself is questionable. We do not know, when the survey was conducted? From the information provided we do not know is all the residents in that area had participated in survey. As, it could have been that people, who love fish had only appeared in the survey. There is no information whatsoever that, either, how will the vegetarian family or fish allergic will comply with this innovation.
Secondly, it could be that, since one can treat common cold at home by consuming homely remedies visit to the doctors at East Meria was low. The report informs us that the visit to doctors was less by a patient of cold, it could be other way around that the number of patients was so high; they could not get too many appointments.
Lastly, one can be absent of marid number of reasons, but, since giving cold as a reason has been working out for others; So, everyone is giving same reason as an excuse. Also, there has not been mentioned any information about the efficacy of Ichthaid, which brand to trust or how to extract fish oil. So, even if it is a good idea to suggest people it will only cause dilemma.
Since, the recommendation as it stands, has many flaws at it is based on unwarranted assumptions. If author could provide answers to the above questions, then the credibility and validity of the recommendation can be given a thought.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 316 350
No. of Characters: 1446 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.216 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.576 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.564 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 98 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 57 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.067 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.903 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.541 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 74, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...il report, it is stated that to ebb the no of absentees in work and school West ma...
^^
Line 3, column 425, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ergic will comply with this innovation. Secondly, it could be that, since one ca...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 304, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[6]
Message: “So , even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...nd to trust or how to extract fish oil. So, even if it is a good idea to suggest people it will only cause dilemma. Since, the recommendation as it stands...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1503.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 316.0 441.139720559 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75632911392 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21620550194 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65984542405 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.566455696203 0.468620217663 121% => OK
syllable_count: 458.1 705.55239521 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.3640665458 57.8364921388 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.2 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0666666667 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.93333333333 5.70786347227 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.112313625171 0.218282227539 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0356502078227 0.0743258471296 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0616933563398 0.0701772020484 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0578616901788 0.128457276422 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0712338697253 0.0628817314937 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.3799401198 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 48.3550499002 139% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.98 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.