Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In recent decades, financial management has been highly discussed. Whether we should develop budget control when we are children is always a primary topic. From my point of view, I will endorse that financial management when we are little is imperative. Here are the following two main arguments.
First of all, financial management is a difficult task, requiring more time to be familiar with it. Drawing from my own experience, when I was eight years old, my parents gave me fifty dollars every day. At that time, I did not understand the reasons for saving money, so I always took the money to buy ice cream. One day, a bookstore nearby our school was selling a novel that I wanted to buy. The novel cost five hundred dollars. In order to obtain the novel, I started to learn how to save my budget. I, however, was not an intelligent child, so I spent plenty of time learning how to limit my spending. As a result, I will advocate that we should build up the concept of financial management when we are young children since it is time-consuming.
Secondly, we can afford mistakes when we are kids. Because financial management is a process of trial and error, failures are always happening. We could avoid the mistakes if we experienced them when we were young. For instance, when I was in fifth grade, my mother gave me fifteen dollars to take the bus to school, although the school was not remote. One day, I had taken my transportation budget to buy a drink; thus, I could not go home by taking the bus. Thankfully, my school was not far, so I only spent twenty minutes going home. Thanks to the experience, I always keep the money for dorm renting, transportation, and other live essential budgets. If I did not experience that error, I would have no such financial management concept. Based on this story, I will support the idea that we should learn financial management when we are young kids.
To sum up, even though some opponents may argue that children do not have to learn it, in my opinion, I believe that children should cultivate financial management when they are young. It is beneficial to have more time to be familiar with saving money, and they can have more opportunities to experience failures.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 68, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Whether” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...l management has been highly discussed. Whether we should develop budget control when w...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, thus, for instance, as a result, first of all, in my opinion, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 13.8261648746 22% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 35.0 52.1666666667 67% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1839.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 392.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.69132653061 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69944611338 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52806122449 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 576.0 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.1960436753 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.9565217391 100.406767564 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0434782609 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.13043478261 5.45110844103 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.171004826114 0.236089414692 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0528790656344 0.076458572812 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0491862947651 0.0737576698707 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119600637591 0.150856017488 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0263966975762 0.0645574589148 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 11.7677419355 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.63 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.46 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.