The following appeared in a memo from a budget planner for the city of Grandview.
"Our citizens are well aware of the fact that while the Grandview Symphony Orchestra was struggling to succeed, our city government promised annual funding to help support its programs. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent, and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. Such developments indicate that the symphony can now succeed without funding from city government and we can eliminate that expense from next year's budget. Therefore, we recommend that the city of Grandview eliminate its funding for the Grandview Symphony from next year's budget. By doing so, we can prevent a city budget deficit without threatening the success of the symphony."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the prompt, the budget planner for city of Grandview mentions that the annual funding provided by the Grandview government should be eliminated, since the Grandview Symphony Orchestra has performed well recently. The budget planner also mentions that a city budget deficit can be forestalled without impedeing the success of the symphony. As it stands, the authors speculation might be true. However, the author has made three unwarranted assumptions that drastically hinder the validity of the argument.
First of all, the author assumes that the emminence from the symphony is not fleeting. However, this might not be the case, the increase in attendance might have to do with the availability of the ticket and location of the venue. It could be that all the concerts held by the symphony previously were held in a venue that could only one hundred people, so maybe people were unable to book tickets as only a hundred slots were available. If the above mentioned situation is proved to be true, it questions the rationality of statements.
Second of all, the author assumes that since ticket prices have been increased more people will be likely to buy tickets and hence more revenue can be generated from the concert. What if the majority of the people who attend the concert just wanted a fun and cheap event to attend to socialize with their friends and family, if the ticket prices are increased they are prone to consider other locations that are more economical. If the mentioned assumption is true, then the authors contention does not hold water.
lastly, the author assumes that the city's monetary resources have direct correlation with Grandview Symphony Orchestra's annual funding. What if the city is so large that the funding provided to the Grandview symphony annualy does not even consume a significant amount in the city's total annual budget? It could be that the city budget deficit is caused by other reasons like a burgeon of population or extensive construction zones that require alot of logistics funding. If the mentioned case is true, then the credibility of the author's argument is hindered.
In conclusion, if the author wishes to bolster the validity of his argument, he must provide three pieces of evidence (by conducting a systematic study) for the above mentioned questions. The argument can be further assessed and it can be considered as a viable solution.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 396 350
No. of Characters: 1965 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.461 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.962 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.627 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.294 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.485 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.566 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 361, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...cess of the symphony. As it stands, the authors speculation might be true. However, the...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 476, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... mentioned assumption is true, then the authors contention does not hold water. las...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Lastly
...ors contention does not hold water. lastly, the author assumes that the citys mone...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 376, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...deficit is caused by other reasons like a burgeon of population or extensive construction...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 531, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...se is true, then the credibility of the authors argument is hindered. In conclusion...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 271, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...can be considered as a viable solution.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, however, if, lastly, may, second, so, then, well, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2010.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 396.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07575757576 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46091344257 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68718669797 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.482323232323 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 634.5 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.7872265872 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.235294118 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2941176471 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.70588235294 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17668413148 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0642851970918 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.104399142062 0.0701772020484 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.1099863987 0.128457276422 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114661974766 0.0628817314937 182% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.88 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.