The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the above memo, the author argues that Buckingham College needs to aggrandize its existing dormitory to accommodate the growing enrolment. The author buttresses his claim based on the premise that the students’ number is increasing and off-campus apartment rent is increasing continuously. Furthermore, the author argues that students will be more predilected to enrol into the college by its arresting new dormitory. However, before evaluating the author’s argument three unstated assumptions need to be answered.
Firstly, the author argues that Buckingham College needs to expand its dormitory to serve the increasing number of students and in the future, the number of student enrolment will be increasing without any necessary evidence. One may ask about the legitimacy of the strategy of using circumstances from one thing to predict and generalize the other. The is a possibility that maybe after a few years, student enrolment will decrease significantly due to its insufficient infrastructure. If the above situation is true then the author’s argument holds no water. The author does not provide sufficient information regarding his prognosis. If the author is able to provide more evidence perhaps in the form of a systematic research study of reasons behind the current increasing number of students’ number then it will be possible to evaluate the author’s argument to a certain extent.
Secondly, the author argues that students will face difficulties to afford off-campus housing due to increasing apartment rates without any evidence regarding students’ conditions. Maybe most of the students who enrol on college are from nearby towns from where they can commute to college regularly by public transportation. In that case, students do not have to afford an apartment. Even if this is not the case, Perhaps most of the students are willing to share 3 or more persons in an apartment then increasing rent does not affect individuals not so much. The author does not provide any admissible evidence regarding the students of the college. The author has to provide more evidence perhaps in the form of a survey report of chart students’ opinions to rectify his argument otherwise, the author’s argument is built unreliably.
Thirdly, the author argues that the number of enrolments will increase since students will be attracted to its new dormitories without providing any justifiable evidence regarding the college itself. Perhaps the academic curriculum of Buckingham College is too obsolete to compete with other colleges. In that case, students may not want to enrol on the college in the near future. There is a feasibility that the nearby area of the college campus is often subject to violence regularly, in that case, students may not want to enrol in the near future due to lack of safety. If the above scenarios are true then students will not enrol on the college despite its delectable new dormitory. The author does not provide any genuine evidence regarding the college. If the author can provide more evidence perhaps in a form of a research study regarding the college and its surrounding area then, it will prop his argument.
In conclusion, the author’s argument is flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author can elucidate the three assumptions above and offer more evidence perhaps in the form of a systematic research study, then it will be possible to evaluate the author’s recommendation that Buckingham College needs to increase its dormitory to attend to the student’s accommodation needs.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 569 350
No. of Characters: 2946 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.884 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.178 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.838 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 233 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 189 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 139 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 81 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.76 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.836 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.72 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.391 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ated assumptions need to be answered. Firstly, the author argues that Buckingh...
^^^
Line 3, column 488, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...due to its insufficient infrastructure. If the above situation is true then the au...
^^
Line 3, column 638, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...nt information regarding his prognosis. If the author is able to provide more evid...
^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uthor’s argument to a certain extent. Secondly, the author argues that student...
^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...author’s argument is built unreliably. Thirdly, the author argues that the numb...
^^^
Line 7, column 576, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... the near future due to lack of safety. If the above scenarios are true then stude...
^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... area then, it will prop his argument. In conclusion, the author’s argument is...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, as to, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 95.0 55.5748502994 171% => OK
Nominalization: 30.0 16.3942115768 183% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3032.0 2260.96107784 134% => OK
No of words: 569.0 441.139720559 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32864674868 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88402711743 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97109831015 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.383128295255 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 963.9 705.55239521 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.9117484305 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.28 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.76 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.08 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.264737292077 0.218282227539 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0937160504297 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0770884953166 0.0701772020484 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183279188348 0.128457276422 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0388044302382 0.0628817314937 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.93 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.11 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 122.0 98.500998004 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.