Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Which of the two approaches do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
As time passes and people become more developed, they become more aware of the childs proper upbringing since, childs are the cornersotne of a successful society and parents their guardians play a pivotal role in their thrivind. Meanwhile, the huge workload that parents are enconter with remained less spare time fore them to spent with their sweetners. In this circumstanse, A plethora of people are of the conviction that it is better that parents to spent this time fore some leisure activity insted of teaching to student their school word. Others, on the other hold a radically diferent point of view and assert the parent in this times practive with their childrens to increased their grade in school. By considering the merites and demerits of two aforementioned viewpoint, I am of the opinion that the advantages to the former idea outweight the prose ot secon one. In the folloing paragraphs, I will elaborate some reason for having this standpoint.
The first and most exquisite poin wich comin to the mind to substantiate my stand point is that doing some hobbies with children increased the both parents and childs spirit and provided them for their office and school, respectively. In fact, the amount of parents spare time is not so much. Beside, during the day they experinced a huge amont of working stress that left them tierdnees and lack of consentration. In this condition they could not consentrate on the material that they want to work with their childeren. So, it is better wor them the spend some time for lesiure activities and hire a tutor to work with their chils.
The other equally important reason, if not more, is that spending some time with childs increased their communication about different topic about their live that is indispensable for family ties.Actually, it is important for parents to be aware about their chils penchants and pashions to directed them properly. Admittedly, parent can gain this imformation when they walk or speak with childs int the park or playin with them no when their consentrate on the lesson.A survey that rensently conducted by Tehran university,in my country, Iran, demonstrated that about 80 present of parents and child that spend more time for leisure activity, are successful in their work and school, respectivelly.
To make a long story short, by considering all the aforementioned reasons into consideration and many other that do not expressed here for the shortage of time, I, strongly soppurt this idea that parent should spend their spare time with their chils in the park, soport activity , and other hobbies. I, hope improving the living condition all over the wolrd provid enouth time fore parents to attention more aspects of thier chils life.
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| 2020-01-23 | nusybah | 73 | view |
| 2020-01-22 | farzaddanaei | 73 | view |
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- TPO-28 - Integrated Writing Task 73
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- Essay topics: TPO-32 - Integrated Writing Task 76
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 119, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (childs) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
... childs proper upbringing since, childs are the cornersotne of a successful society...
^^^
Line 1, column 633, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... point of view and assert the parent in this times practive with their childrens to ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 772, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'viewpoint' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'viewpoints'.
Suggestion: viewpoints
...ites and demerits of two aforementioned viewpoint, I am of the opinion that the advantage...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 548, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ir childeren. So, it is better wor them the spend some time for lesiure activities and hi...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 196, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Actually
...e that is indispensable for family ties.Actually, it is important for parents to be awar...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 428, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...childs int the park or playin with them no when their consentrate on the lesson.A ...
^^
Line 3, column 468, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: A
...no when their consentrate on the lesson.A survey that rensently conducted by Tehr...
^
Line 3, column 522, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , in
...rensently conducted by Tehran university,in my country, Iran, demonstrated that abo...
^^^
Line 4, column 279, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...their chils in the park, soport activity , and other hobbies. I, hope improving th...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, if, so, while, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2283.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 452.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05088495575 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61088837703 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72741751299 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.506637168142 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 691.2 618.680645161 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 90.2706055271 48.9658058833 184% => OK
Chars per sentence: 152.2 100.406767564 152% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.1333333333 20.6045352989 146% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.6 5.45110844103 48% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.280957431734 0.236089414692 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108154603898 0.076458572812 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0580134712043 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.191713031413 0.150856017488 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0278485569691 0.0645574589148 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 11.7677419355 148% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 86.8835125448 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.