The purpose of higher education is to prepare students for the future, but classen students are at a serious disadvantage in the competition for post-college employment due to the university's burdensome breadth requirements. classen's job placement rate is substantially lower than placement rates of many top-ranked schools. classen students would be more attractive to employers if they had more time to take advanced courses in their specialty, rather than being required to spend fifteen percent of their time at classen taking courses outside of their subject area. we demand, therefore, that the university abandon or drastically cut back on its breadth requirements.
Analyse and Suggest any additional kind of evidence to reinforce the argument.
The author criticize the number of courses of breadth requirements due to low employability of their fellow students. Nevertheless, the petitions includes various flaws to strongly support the initial position. Along the text, he mainly utilize the low employment rates as a reason of why the university should increase the proportion of specialty courses. Furthermore, the author fosters the idea of an abandonment of the breadt requirements as a new policy.
According to the author the employment rate in this university is substantially lower. However, he do not include a valid source that found this number, thus the position cannot rely on a verifiable and reliable fact. Otherwise, by including a survey, a focus group or information from the Secretary of Education, the argument could have been sustained. Even more, he do not provide a certain value, saying 'substantially' is not a valid assumption, because it can mean 50% or 20% without the adequate context.
The author overlooks the reason of the possible low rate. The assumption of having few specialty courses impacts on employability is not necessarily true. As a result, there are many causes of a low rate, for instance, private and public organizations may be looking for candidates in certain areas of knowledge that this university do not offer whereas its majors are currently in a freezed market.
Finally, the petition includes the fact that fifteen percent of courses are breadth requirements. The author does not especify a proportion of specialty courses, impliying that the value is eighty five making it a high number relatively to the breadth requirements. In consequence, if this is true, the number of advanced courses is actually not low while the author says the opposite. By using an specific number the argument would have been more valid. Even if the university cuts back the requirements, there is not assurance that employment rate will increase if we only rely on this petition's arguments since there are many flaws to be a valid support.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-12-01 | Moustafa Noufale | 66 | view |
| 2019-12-01 | Moustafa Nofale | 58 | view |
| 2019-12-01 | Moustafa Nofale | 73 | view |
| 2019-01-05 | dsingapore | 55 | view |
| 2018-09-01 | mro9395 | 23 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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flaws:
the arguments are on the wrong track.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 330 350
No. of Characters: 1661 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.262 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.033 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.919 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.623 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.329 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 12, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'criticizes'.
Suggestion: criticizes
The author criticize the number of courses of breadth requir...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 108, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...due to low employability of their fellow students. Nevertheless, the petitions in...
^^
Line 1, column 239, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'utilizes'.
Suggestion: utilizes
...ial position. Along the text, he mainly utilize the low employment rates as a reason of...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 99, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'does'.
Suggestion: does
...ity is substantially lower. However, he do not include a valid source that found t...
^^
Line 2, column 368, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'does'.
Suggestion: does
...ould have been sustained. Even more, he do not provide a certain value, saying sub...
^^
Line 3, column 83, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun specialty seems to be countable; consider using: 'few specialties'.
Suggestion: few specialties
...ible low rate. The assumption of having few specialty courses impacts on employability is not...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 395, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... the author says the opposite. By using an specific number the argument would have...
^^
Line 4, column 583, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...t rate will increase if we only rely on this petitions arguments since there are man...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, finally, furthermore, however, if, look, may, nevertheless, so, thus, whereas, while, for instance, of course, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 55.5748502994 61% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1703.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 330.0 441.139720559 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.16060606061 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.26214759535 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00520057345 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.539393939394 0.468620217663 115% => OK
syllable_count: 544.5 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.3900042203 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.4375 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.625 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.25 5.70786347227 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.108496921584 0.218282227539 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0373714788774 0.0743258471296 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0378898222412 0.0701772020484 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0716912996959 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0268113131065 0.0628817314937 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.89 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.