TPO-40 - Independent Writing TaskSome parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task
Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by popop on Mon, 06/24/2019 - 04:06

<font size="5">No doubt that</font> the grade is very important to reflect the student’s study ability. therefore, views differ considerably when it comes to the issue that whether the parent should offer their school-age children money for each high-grade they get in school. some people contend that since students get high score through their hardworking, they should receive some rewards which could motivate the student keep studying and get better grade next time, while others assert that if students receive the money from their parents, they may accustomed to study for making money, therefore, they may lose the interests in their study. Both opposite arguments are convincing and stand to reason. however, my experience and actual observation of life have led me to believe that it is not a good idea for parents to offer their school-age children money for each high-grade they get in school.
First of all, children may lose their enthusiastic to study, because parent will not give kids money for a high-grade anymore once they are grow old enough, as a result, students would not feel like to study since they would not receive any rewards. Take my friend tom as an example, when he was 8 years old, he always can get the highest score in the mathematic lesson, and his parent always give him some money to buy anything he likes, such as toys and fast foods, therefore my classmates and I dreamed to live such a comfortable and happy life just like tom did. however, such situation did not last long, when tom was 14 years old, his parents think it is not a good idea to continue offer tom money because tom is old enough to pay for himself. And this is the turn point of tom’s study, tom gradually hate to study, because it is not easy for he to get a good grade, while he can not get the money that he thought he is supposed to receive. Hence, tom hated to study and even skipped school to play radio games.
Furthermore, kids may misunderstand the meaning of study when them are given money for their wonderful performances, As a result, children would treat study just like a job that just for making money, once they hold such idea, it will not easy for them to have a deep understanding of the subject they learn. For instance.
To put it in a nutshell, based on aforementioned analysis, I believe that parents should not offer their school-age children money for each high-grade they get in school.

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Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 120, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...flect the student's study ability. therefore, views differ considerably when it come...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 293, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
...for each high-grade they get in school. some people contend that since students get ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 724, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...nts are convincing and stand to reason. however, my experience and actual observation o...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...or each high-grade they get in school. First of all, children may lose their en...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 147, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'grown'.
Suggestion: grown
... for a high-grade anymore once they are grow old enough, as a result, students would...
^^^^
Line 2, column 573, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...table and happy life just like tom did. however, such situation did not last long, when...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n skipped school to play radio games. Furthermore, kids may misunderstand the ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the subject they learn. For instance. To put it in a nutshell, based on aforem...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, so, therefore, thus, while, as to, for instance, no doubt, such as, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2022.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 424.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76886792453 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53775939005 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64106717996 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.469339622642 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 612.0 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.6003584229 58% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 35.0 20.1344086022 174% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 101.727097505 48.9658058833 208% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 168.5 100.406767564 168% => OK
Words per sentence: 35.3333333333 20.6045352989 171% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.5 5.45110844103 211% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.34997481733 0.236089414692 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.156328024597 0.076458572812 204% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.137748484441 0.0737576698707 187% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.263833902434 0.150856017488 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.117470673022 0.0645574589148 182% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.7 11.7677419355 159% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.87 58.1214874552 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.98 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 10.002688172 185% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.0 10.0537634409 159% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 10.247311828 185% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.