TPO 54 - Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The arts is a very important factor in every country. In part because the arts help governments in much aspects of areas. In this regard, some people I am sure would believe that Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams; while others have a radically different point of view. As far as my personal perspective is concerned, I agree that arts is more crucial to me than supporting the athletes. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore my points of view in the following essay.
The first reason lending credence to the argument is that the arts make the people of society be calm and help to get rid of the today’s problems. The experience of my friend whose father just has died, is a strong illustration of this. He is depressed after father death. I suggested him that every other day we can go to the cinema and watch a good movie. After couple of days, I noticed that my friend’s spirit is came back. Assume that the governments did not consider any budget for supporting the arts; what was happened? Undoubtedly, the people that they were suffering from the depression, were increasing day by day. On the other hand, the presence of children at the gyms for the dangerous sports such as kick boxing can be the cause of anxiety for their families. as you can see, supporting the arts is an important factor for our lives.
Another equally important point in supporting my opinion is that we can learn many things about society, culture, economics, and so on. Consider that If the governments start some great television shows about preserving of historical building or monuments, it would have an invaluable experience for all of people especially kids. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. Once, when I was child, my family decided to go a famous monument in birthplace city. I still remembered when I faced to that terrible scene, I was shocked. Bad people painted the walls of nice historical building. If the governments make even little effort for some apparent problems, we were not observing such stuffs.
Considering all the explanations discussed above, It leads to the conclusion that asserting arts compared to the athletes can bring more benefits. Not only the arts help to get rid of the today’s problems of people but also learn many things about society, culture, economics, and so on. I strongly believe that the arts can be more much effective.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 10, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[4]
Message: You should probably use: 'are'.
Suggestion: are
The arts is a very important factor in every countr...
^^
Line 1, column 100, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...rt because the arts help governments in much aspects of areas. In this regard, some ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 418, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'come'.
Suggestion: come
...s, I noticed that my friend’s spirit is came back. Assume that the governments did n...
^^^^
Line 3, column 776, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: As
...he cause of anxiety for their families. as you can see, supporting the arts is an ...
^^
Line 5, column 458, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y family decided to go a famous monument in birthplace city. I still remembered w...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, so, still, while, i feel, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2074.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 430.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.82325581395 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74157936899 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.525581395349 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 637.2 618.680645161 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.1516281974 48.9658058833 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.4166666667 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.9166666667 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.08333333333 5.45110844103 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211510371786 0.236089414692 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0531962242454 0.076458572812 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0809596508785 0.0737576698707 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.136359326849 0.150856017488 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.109635211744 0.0645574589148 170% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.38 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.