A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food- processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty- year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
The twenty year study about mainly concludes that decrease of the headaches reported has a relation with the increasing commercial use of salicylates. While It may be that this is actually correlated with the increasing use of salicylates and may also be possible that the number of headaches reported in future might decrease , there are some of the questions which need to be addressed .
Firstly, the author assumes that salicylates were the only main reason due to which the number of headaches reported in the study were decreasing over the period of time. Perhaps, It is possible that before the study , the residents of mentia used to have a quiet stressful and busy life due to which there were headaches but slowly over time they have started to follow practices like yoga, changes in diet which actually resulted in peace of mind and eventually reports of headaches decreased. If this is true, then the authors argument and the prediction quite weakens.
Secondly, It is also possible that the results of the study are far from the actual reality. Perhaps, It may be possible that during early stages of study there were a large number of participants and eventually the participants were decreasing. It might be the main reason for decrease in total number of reported headaches ,but actually the situation might have been the same. It is given in the passage that there was a increase in commercial use of salicylates , but it is assumed that residents in mentia eat outside frequently ,In contrast residents actually eat food in home more often than outside which weakens the authors argument of reported headaches down due to increased use of salicylates.
Finally, the author predicts that there will be a reduction of headaches in future. Is there any chance that the salicylates are replaced with other food preservatives which are more feasible for both food restaurants and people? The other question that comes to mind is that , What if there is a large population jump in mentia which directly attributes t increase in reported cases? If any one of this is the case then even if the decreased headache reports were due to increased use of salicylates the prediction will become invalid.
In conclusion, As of now the reasons provided in the passage does not justify the conclusion of the author. If the author is able to provide more evidence then we can actually evaluate the conclusion based on the given proofs . The author also cannot actually predict the future unless he has a formidable evidence that the reported headache cases are going to be decreased due to increase in use of salicylates.
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2023-09-01 | Sophy@ | 57 | view |
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2023-07-15 | Prasad002 | 58 | view |
2023-07-05 | ShirishBasnet1 | 50 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 441 350
No. of Characters: 2141 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.583 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.855 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.64 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.109 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.356 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 50, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y year study about mainly concludes that decrease of the headaches reported has a...
^^
Line 1, column 328, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...daches reported in future might decrease , there are some of the questions which n...
^^
Line 1, column 341, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ed in future might decrease , there are some of the questions which need to be addressed . ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 389, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...the questions which need to be addressed . Firstly, the author assumes that sali...
^^
Line 2, column 28, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...addressed . Firstly, the author assumes that salicylates were the only main reas...
^^
Line 2, column 157, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...d in the study were decreasing over the period of time. Perhaps, It is possible that before th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 217, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ps, It is possible that before the study , the residents of mentia used to have a ...
^^
Line 2, column 523, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...es decreased. If this is true, then the authors argument and the prediction quite weake...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 166, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...during early stages of study there were a large number of participants and eventually the partici...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 324, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...se in total number of reported headaches ,but actually the situation might have be...
^^
Line 3, column 421, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... is given in the passage that there was a increase in commercial use of salicylat...
^
Line 3, column 464, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ncrease in commercial use of salicylates , but it is assumed that residents in men...
^^
Line 3, column 532, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...sidents in mentia eat outside frequently ,In contrast residents actually eat food ...
^^
Line 3, column 624, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...re often than outside which weakens the authors argument of reported headaches down due...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 74, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... there will be a reduction of headaches in future. Is there any chance that the salicylat...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 177, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... with other food preservatives which are more feasible for both food restaurants ...
^^
Line 4, column 277, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ther question that comes to mind is that , What if there is a large population ju...
^^
Line 4, column 296, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...comes to mind is that , What if there is a large population jump in mentia which ...
^^
Line 5, column 108, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...t justify the conclusion of the author. If the author is able to provide more evid...
^^
Line 5, column 155, Rule ID: LESS_MORE_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'?
Suggestion: than
...author is able to provide more evidence then we can actually evaluate the conclusion...
^^^^
Line 5, column 225, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...the conclusion based on the given proofs . The author also cannot actually predic...
^^
Line 5, column 238, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n based on the given proofs . The author also cannot actually predict the future ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, while, in conclusion, in contrast
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2179.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 441.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9410430839 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70918426723 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.419501133787 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 716.4 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 72.5185051814 57.8364921388 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.1875 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5625 23.324526521 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.25 5.70786347227 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 22.0 5.25449101796 419% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.200402196833 0.218282227539 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0742013734715 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.053029956151 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130151788201 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0494979967262 0.0628817314937 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.