Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military."
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
Arts and culture is part of our very being. It is an avenue through which human history from time immemorial can be seen, understood and celebrated. The prompt suggests that our ruling body should invest equally in arts and the military (security). I do agree with this recommendation for the following two reasons, as I would be addressing:
First, Arts is both an expression of beauty and history of a race, intelligence, as well as a tool for making profit, that improves the economy of a Nation. Investing in Arts will allow creatives to create what is termed as 'masterpieces' which is showcased for all to see. As a means of profit, people from all over the world go to see these masterpieces, and pay whatever price as agreed, based on the valuation of the art. For example, people go from all over the world to see the leaning tower of Pisa. Though the structure itself was a flaw, it has long since turned into one of the seven wonders of the world. This makes room for tourism, meaning money entering the economy of the state. This money is employed by the government in various ways, like in the military. The military maintains peace for their country, or the country they are fighting for. They make our environs safe, and should be compensated heavily for this. So, where is this payment coming from? The proceeds derived from arts can be employed in paying our army and security professionals, as well as fund their safety. So, in as much as security is necessary, a country needs a means of funding this security and investing in arts and culture provides this avenue. Hence, it is beneficial to invest as much in arts as in military, as this two both bring in funds and take out funds.
Also, I believe skills should be compensated, as this shows appreciation and love for one's service and contribution towards a course or goal. The military people go every day, do not abandon their post, and sacrifice everything, including their lives, to ensure National and global peace. This sort of patriotism deserves the highest payments. But patriotism is not only defined with 'carrying guns and fighting,' or 'engaging in physical combat only.' The very deeds of caring for one another is patriotic, and even, the willingness of a creative to draw, paint, express his/her skills in art form, to tell the story of a Nation, show her growth over the years and even her flaws, is a form of patriotism. This expression reminds all of the past, and how far we have come, and as we proceed, to not lose sight of who we are. Some of these expressions, that come in various sizes, are also even carried by the military as a memento of their homes, and these are seen with them when they come back, or where they died. So, funding arts is very important as it means appreciating skills and sacrifices.
Although, there are people who maintain the stance that military funds should be more than that in the art sector because the military sacrifice more (their lives), and weapons are even expensive. They are right in the sacrifice; however, they are looking at each profession as one is more important than the other. I believe contrarily that one profession is better than the other. In fact, they are interdependent on each other. The military needs funds to fund their travels, buy their weapons, ensure their feeding, etc., and these money has to come from somewhere. Arts allows for money to come into the Nation and this is utilized to fund a Nation, like funding our security. So, as much investment should be given to arts, as the military.
Conclusively, I do believe that all professions, no matter their audience of application, require sacrifices and patriotism as even the military. Indeed, not all requires blocking a bullet with your body, but all require a high level of sacrifice, and each should be invested in equally. Investment here does not always mean money, but it also means an ideal platform to sacrifice, amenities to work, etc. And these investments make all these possible.
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|---|---|---|---|
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| 2023-09-30 | agp123 | 58 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 248, Rule ID: EN_GB_SIMPLE_REPLACE
Message: I is a common American expression, in British English it is more common to use: I
Suggestion: I
...ally in arts and the military security. I do agree with this recommendation for t...
^
Line 1, column 318, Rule ID: EN_GB_SIMPLE_REPLACE
Message: I is a common American expression, in British English it is more common to use: I
Suggestion: I
...ation for the following two reasons, as I would be addressing: First, Arts is ...
^
Line 5, column 7, Rule ID: EN_GB_SIMPLE_REPLACE
Message: I is a common American expression, in British English it is more common to use: I
Suggestion: I
...g in funds and take out funds. Also, I believe skills should be compensated, a...
^
Line 5, column 87, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...as this shows appreciation and love for ones service and contribution towards a cour...
^^^^
Line 5, column 728, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... of patriotism. This expression reminds all of the past, and how far we have come, and as ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 315, Rule ID: EN_GB_SIMPLE_REPLACE
Message: I is a common American expression, in British English it is more common to use: I
Suggestion: I
...s one is more important than the other. I believe contrarily that one profession ...
^
Line 7, column 529, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...eapons, ensure their feeding, etc., and these money has to come from somewhere. Arts allows...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 15, Rule ID: EN_GB_SIMPLE_REPLACE
Message: I is a common American expression, in British English it is more common to use: I
Suggestion: I
...arts, as the military. Conclusively, I do believe that all professions, no mat...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, look, so, well, as to, for example, in fact, sort of, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.5258426966 179% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 34.0 14.8657303371 229% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 67.0 33.0505617978 203% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 58.6224719101 138% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3311.0 2235.4752809 148% => OK
No of words: 698.0 442.535393258 158% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.7435530086 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.1400087186 4.55969084622 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60661570775 2.79657885939 93% => OK
Unique words: 324.0 215.323595506 150% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464183381089 0.4932671777 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1035.9 704.065955056 147% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 6.24550561798 272% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 4.99550561798 160% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.10617977528 290% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 17.0 1.77640449438 957% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 35.0 20.2370786517 173% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 51.6573798983 60.3974514979 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.6 118.986275619 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9428571429 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.91428571429 5.21951772744 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 21.0 10.2758426966 204% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170526099821 0.243740707755 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0458742938768 0.0831039109588 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0363875181152 0.0758088955206 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107135913164 0.150359130593 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0378921989764 0.0667264976115 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 14.1392134831 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.8420337079 124% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 12.1639044944 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 141.0 100.480337079 140% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.