The following appeared in the City Council Proceedings section of the local newspaper in Smithville. “The city council of Smithville has recommended making changes to police procedures to improve the visibility of the police force. These changes include hiring more police officers, budgeting more funds for police overtime, and directing officers to patrol significantly more often on foot rather than from their patrol cars. These improvements in visibility would significantly lower the crime rate in Smithville and make its citizens feel safer.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author concludes that by increasing the visibility of the police force will lower the crime rate in the city and make people feel safer. Stated this way the author reveals several instances of poor reasoning which renders the argument suspect. The author provides several ways to increase the visibility of police but doesn't provide how these will reduce crime. Hence, The argument is rife with holes and is unsubstantiated
Firstly, the author readily assumes that by increasing the police force and patrolling by the walk will reduce crime. This is a mere assumption without any solid ground. For example, there is no evidence that such a method has been followed by the department in any other city and the crime rate has reduced. without any such proof, it not convincing that these methods are going to be fruitful.
Secondly, there is no information on the present crime rate in the city and are people feeling unsafe. If the crime rate is already low and people do feel safe, there is no need to do any changes to the present system. Also if the people are unsafe, what are the problems people are facing? and by making these changes how are those problems will be resolved?. The argument would have been justified if the author has provided evidence that the city has seen an increase in the crime rate in recent times and people are feeling unsafe.
Finally, scrutiny of the argument raises several questions, such as Is the strength of the police department low? Will all the funds directed to the department will be used for visibility purposes only? we do not if that's the case. The information that the police force is less or the unemployment is more in the city and the city council has not granted sufficient funds in the past, would be beneficial to support the claim. Unless these questions are answered, the intended audience of the article will be left skeptical of the claim.
In conclusion, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster further, more concrete evidence of the success of these improvements in the other cities and information of the present crime rate of the city is needed. Unless these assumptions are addressed the argument can be considered as more of wishful thinking rather than substantial evidence.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 387 350
No. of Characters: 1834 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.435 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.739 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.499 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.765 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.2 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.348 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 323, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...o increase the visibility of police but doesnt provide how these will reduce crime. He...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 310, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Without
...er city and the crime rate has reduced. without any such proof, it not convincing that ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 219, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...o do any changes to the present system. Also if the people are unsafe, what are the ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 291, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: And
...hat are the problems people are facing? and by making these changes how are those p...
^^^
Line 4, column 203, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...l be used for visibility purposes only? we do not if thats the case. The informati...
^^
Line 4, column 216, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
... visibility purposes only? we do not if thats the case. The information that the poli...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, second, secondly, so, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1875.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 386.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85751295337 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43248042346 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56254286787 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.437823834197 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 606.6 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.8601185589 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.75 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3 23.324526521 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.2 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 16.0 6.88822355289 232% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.192238231105 0.218282227539 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0593661435492 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0607417147575 0.0701772020484 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109900532041 0.128457276422 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0233280195199 0.0628817314937 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 14.3799401198 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.