An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author claims that to fight back the vitamin A deficiency in the Tagus the government should promote the new millet high breed. Stated this way the author reveals several instances of poor reasoning,raises several questions and leaves the reader of the argument highly skeptical. Though it may seem teniable at first glance but careful examination of evidence reveals that it doesn't support its claim. Thus the argument is rife with holes and unsubstantiated.
Firstly, what are the other sources of vitamin A avialable for the citizens of The Tagus? why did they didnt show any siginficant effects in improving the deficiency? The argument does'nt provide any information of these sources like carrots,tomatoes and other fruits and vegetables which maybe already avialable for people. If the evidence was provided that none of these sources didnt work then it would be justified the consumption of the new millet high breed. Without these information it is not convincing to replace the new millet hybdrid as source of vitamin.
Secondly, what is the cost of the new millets available for the people? There is no information about the financial conditions of the citizens.If the millets are very expensive then what about the poor who cannot afford this costly millets. It would have been cogent if the author informed that the government should provide this millets at an affordable price for all its citizens .
Finally, there in no evidence provided to support that the new millet breed has been successful in fulfilling the deficiney. Has any tests been conducted before promoting this new millets? without any studies done on this it can suspected that these millets maybe on work or should any side effects after consuming . It raises several questions about the consumption of the millets.
Thus , the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster further the author should address the questions stated above and should provide the evidence that its consumption is safe, with the help of a control goup. Unless these issues are not resolved the people to the Tagus should be skeptical of its claim.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 13 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 350 350
No. of Characters: 1736 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.325 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.96 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.532 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.588 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.021 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.331 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.072 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 203, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , raises
...eals several instances of poor reasoning,raises several questions and leaves the reader...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 381, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...examination of evidence reveals that it doesnt support its claim. Thus the argument is...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 407, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...veals that it doesnt support its claim. Thus the argument is rife with holes and uns...
^^^^
Line 2, column 90, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Why
...vialable for the citizens of The Tagus? why did they didnt show any siginficant eff...
^^^
Line 2, column 103, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...the citizens of The Tagus? why did they didnt show any siginficant effects in improvi...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 180, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... improving the deficiency? The argument doesnt provide any information of these source...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 240, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , tomatoes
...nformation of these sources like carrots,tomatoes and other fruits and vegetables which m...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 324, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ich maybe already avialable for people. If the evidence was provided that none of ...
^^
Line 2, column 380, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...was provided that none of these sources didnt work then it would be justified the con...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 472, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'these informations'?
Suggestion: this information; these informations
...n of the new millet high breed. Without these information it is not convincing to replace the new...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 511, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'replacing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'convince' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: replacing
... these information it is not convincing to replace the new millet hybdrid as source of vit...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 143, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...he financial conditions of the citizens.If the millets are very expensive then wha...
^^
Line 3, column 143, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...he financial conditions of the citizens.If the millets are very expensive then wha...
^^
Line 3, column 325, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...rmed that the government should provide this millets at an affordable price for all ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 381, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...an affordable price for all its citizens . Finally, there in no evidence provided...
^^
Line 4, column 189, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Without
...cted before promoting this new millets? without any studies done on this it can suspect...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 229, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'suspect'
Suggestion: suspect
...without any studies done on this it can suspected that these millets maybe on work or sho...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 314, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... should any side effects after consuming . It raises several questions about the c...
^^
Line 5, column 5, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ut the consumption of the millets. Thus , the argument is unpersuasive as it stan...
^^
Line 5, column 217, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Unless” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... safe, with the help of a control goup. Unless these issues are not resolved the peopl...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1770.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 345.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13043478261 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3097767484 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73368157058 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.489855072464 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 541.8 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.9826465698 57.8364921388 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.1578947368 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1578947368 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.73684210526 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 20.0 5.25449101796 381% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.264846614126 0.218282227539 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0919434208846 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0883421989151 0.0701772020484 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.146831005328 0.128457276422 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0561012361823 0.0628817314937 89% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 98.500998004 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.