The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the above memo, the author argues that southeastern Grilldon is a suitable place for establishing the new Hobby Shop since there is no Hobby Shop and it has a very vast population of retirees who will have ample amount of time to engage in a hobby. The author supports his argument based on the survey in which 88 per cent of responders agree that they would welcome a new Hobby shop. Furthermore, the author props his argument by stating that previously their business in Grilldon has augmented by 300 per cent thus ostensively, implicating the same strategy they will be lucrative in southeastern Grilldon also. However, before evaluating the author’s argument three questions need to be answered.
Firstly, the author supports his argument based on the survey of Grilldon residents without providing admissible evidence regarding the survey. One can raise questions about the authenticity of the survey. In other words, is the survey still representative? Maybe the survey was conducted 10 years ago. Even if this is not the case, is the strategy of concluding an argument only based on the percentage genuine? Percentage is a tricky situation without an absolute number given one can not use a percentage to conclude something. Perhaps only 100 people responded to the survey. Then only 88 people were in favour of opening a new Hobby Shop. Then using such a small sample size to conclude an argument is seriously unwarranted. The author does not provide any admissible evidence regarding the survey. If the author can provide more data perhaps in the form of a statistical data chart of people respondents then it will be possible to evaluate the author’s argument to a certain extent.
Secondly, the author buttresses his claim that the new Hobby Shop in southeastern Grilldon will be remunerative since the past decade the Hobby business has increased by 300 per cent. Is using the strategy of using a circumstance from one thing to predict and generalise the other legitimate? There is a possibility that the southeastern part of Grilldon is not similar to the rest of Grilldon at all. Perhaps people of southeastern Grilldon want to pursue their hobby on their own without going to any Hobby Shop. Maybe most of the people from southeastern Grilldon are farmers and the fees of Hobby Shops are too high for them to remain a regular customer. If any one of the above situations is true then the author’s argument holds no water. The author does not provide any evidence regarding his comparison. The author has to provide more legitimate evidence perhaps in a systematic research study regarding the people of all parts of Grilldon to bolster his claim.
Thirdly, the author predicts that their business will be profitable since there are many retirees and they will have enough time to spend on hobbies without any evidence about the retirees' preference. Will retirees prefer to spend time on their hobbies? Maybe after retirement, most of the people will try to spend their time with their families. Perhaps in Grilldon most of the retirees do not want to spend money on their hobbies. The author does not provide any evidence about the retirees of the Grilldon. If the author can provide more justifiable evidence perhaps in the form of a survey report of retirees’ preferences then it will strengthen his argument otherwise, the author’s argument is seriously counterfeit.
In conclusion, the author’s argument stands now is seriously flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author can answer the three questions above and offer more evidence perhaps in the form of a systematic research study then it will be possible to evaluate the author’s recommendation that they should choose southeastern Grilldon as a site for the next Hobco Hobby shop.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-08-18 | sam 27 | 66 | view |
| 2023-08-12 | M1randa | 58 | view |
| 2023-03-31 | Aashu_Mehta | 66 | view |
| 2021-09-03 | khush.furia | 53 | view |
| 2021-02-18 | Cookiedough | 73 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 613, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...l be lucrative in southeastern Grilldon also. However, before evaluating the author’...
^^^^
Line 2, column 805, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...missible evidence regarding the survey. If the author can provide more data perhap...
^^
Line 3, column 661, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... for them to remain a regular customer. If any one of the above situations is true...
^^
Line 4, column 181, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'retirees'' or 'retiree's'?
Suggestion: retirees'; retiree's
... hobbies without any evidence about the retirees preference. Will retirees prefer to spe...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly, thus, as to, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 93.0 55.5748502994 167% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3181.0 2260.96107784 141% => OK
No of words: 630.0 441.139720559 143% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04920634921 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.00997013923 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81726536325 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 204.123752495 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.38253968254 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 999.9 705.55239521 142% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.37642101 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.612903226 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3225806452 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.22580645161 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 15.0 4.67664670659 321% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166063940293 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0509410245844 0.0743258471296 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0713038507953 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119442830434 0.128457276422 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0679474262451 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.44 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 613, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...l be lucrative in southeastern Grilldon also. However, before evaluating the author’...
^^^^
Line 2, column 805, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...missible evidence regarding the survey. If the author can provide more data perhap...
^^
Line 3, column 661, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... for them to remain a regular customer. If any one of the above situations is true...
^^
Line 4, column 181, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'retirees'' or 'retiree's'?
Suggestion: retirees'; retiree's
... hobbies without any evidence about the retirees preference. Will retirees prefer to spe...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly, thus, as to, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 93.0 55.5748502994 167% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3181.0 2260.96107784 141% => OK
No of words: 630.0 441.139720559 143% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04920634921 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.00997013923 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81726536325 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 204.123752495 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.38253968254 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 999.9 705.55239521 142% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.37642101 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.612903226 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3225806452 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.22580645161 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 15.0 4.67664670659 321% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166063940293 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0509410245844 0.0743258471296 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0713038507953 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119442830434 0.128457276422 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0679474262451 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.44 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.