"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. This shows that eating a substantial amount of fish can clearly prevent colds. Furthermore, since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, attendance levels will improve. Therefore, we recommend the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
The author recommends that the use of nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds in order to lower abstenteeism. To support the conclusion, he cites various evidences. Although these evidences appear to bolster the argument, a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. Thus, to make the argument more sound, the author needs to cite the following specific evidences.
First of all, the author presumes that the nutritional supplement derived from fish oil can be found ubiquitously. Perhaps, these supplements are so rare and are much very expenshive which a common individual cannot buy it. One the other hand, the author has not presented reliable data regarding the fish populaton. It is possible that in order to get supplement, human will destroy the entire habitat of the fish. If the fishes are in low number then this recommendation can be fatal to the eco-system.
Second of all, the author assumes that higher fish consumption was the only reason behind lower absenteeism in schools and workplaces nearby East Meria. It is possible that there may be other factor which is contributing healthy environment. For example, the air quality and health facilities. It is possible that it was due to the effective health care system. If this was the case, then it significantly weakens the author's recommendation.
Third of all, the writer assumes that the reason given by most absentees is true. Perhaps, the absentees are unhappy with the working environment in their office and pretending that they were sick due to the cold. In school as well, it is possible that higher absence is because of the presence impolite and demotivating teachers. If this was the case then the writer's recommendation doesn't hold water.
In sum, although evidences provided by the author sounds great, these evidences are insufficient and unclear to reach the conclusion made by the author. Thus, without these especific evidences above, I'm not convinced with the author's recommendation. If the assumption above were clearly mentioned in the argument, it may help the author to boost his conclusion.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-08-14 | Anil2044 | 62 | view |
| 2023-06-07 | kalp98403 | 53 | view |
| 2023-05-31 | userxyz110 | 58 | view |
| 2023-03-24 | Voja Kar | 58 | view |
| 2023-02-13 | Yam Kumar Oli | 75 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 345 350
No. of Characters: 1732 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.31 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.02 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.838 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.614 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 495, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mmendation can be fatal to the ecosystem Second of all the author assumes that hi...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 434, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...antly weakens the authors recommendation Third of all the writer assumes that the...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 266, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ll it is possible that higher absence is because of the presence impolite and dem...
^^
Line 7, column 357, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
... teachers If this was the case then the writers recommendation doesnt hold water In...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 380, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...he case then the writers recommendation doesnt hold water In sum although evidence...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 397, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...writers recommendation doesnt hold water In sum although evidences provided by th...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 196, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
...without these especific evidences above Im not convinced with the authors recommen...
^^
Line 9, column 222, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...idences above Im not convinced with the authors recommendation If the assumption above ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, regarding, second, so, then, third, thus, well, for example, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1743.0 2260.96107784 77% => OK
No of words: 343.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.08163265306 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30351707066 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81788342241 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.516034985423 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 551.7 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 19.7664670659 5% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 343.0 22.8473053892 1501% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 57.8364921388 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 1743.0 119.503703932 1459% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 343.0 23.324526521 1471% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 94.0 5.70786347227 1647% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0819228519499 0.218282227539 38% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0819228519499 0.0743258471296 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0701772020484 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0475853897536 0.128457276422 37% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0459944564412 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 174.0 14.3799401198 1210% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -276.67 48.3550499002 -572% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 7.1628742515 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 137.1 12.197005988 1124% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 13.66 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 24.06 8.32208582834 289% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 60.0 12.3882235529 484% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 139.2 11.1389221557 1250% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 60.0 11.9071856287 504% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.