Jazz Music Club
The developers claim that opening a jazz music club in Monroe will be an extremely profitable venture. The argument cites successful music concerts attended, a highly-rated radio program, and the annual amount spent on jazz music nationwide as evidence. While this evidence may seem encouraging, further research is needed to ensure its validity. The argument is based on unjustified assumptions that concert attendance, a popular radio program, and average spending by fans indicate a ready market. Unless sufficient evidence is provided, the argument remains unpersuasive as it stands.
Firstly, the argument relies on concert attendance as proof of a ready market. It is true that a large number of people attending music concerts indicates the popularity of that particular music genre. After all, people only attend shows of music that they enjoy. However, this claim is based on the assumption that all the fans who attended the concert reside in Monroe. It is common for people to travel across towns to attend music concerts, so it is unclear where all the attendees actually reside. If the majority of the concert-goers are from other towns, this would invalidate the assumption made by the developers. Furthermore, the argument assumes that high concert attendance directly translates to a ready market for the jazz club. But a music club and a concert are two different things. It is possible that people may enjoy attending music concerts but not like clubs, and therefore may be unlikely to go to any clubs. In order to strengthen the argument, the developers must provide evidence that all the concert-goers are residents of Monroe and also demonstrate that these concert-goers are interested in a jazz club.
The highly-rated radio program is considered a good indicator of popularity, although it is based on several assumptions. Highly-rated programs certainly imply that people enjoy listening to them. However, does that directly translate to evidence of people coming to the jazz club? What if the radio listeners are from distant towns? Radio channels are not confined to one town, and it is likely that listeners are from other towns as well. The argument assumes that the listeners are from within Monroe or in close proximity to the proposed site for building the club. If the majority of the listeners are from distant towns, there is a strong likelihood that the jazz club won't be as profitable as assumed. To validate the claims, the developers need to demonstrate by showing that the radio listeners actually reside in close proximity to the site of club development.
Finally, the conclusion of the argument rests on the assumption that the music fans in Monroe will spend as much as the nationwide average. However, it is known that different towns tend to have different economic statuses. Unless figures are provided to show that Monroe has an equal economic status as other towns where fans spend at least $1000 yearly on music, this assumption cannot be justified. What if Monroe is a low-income town? This would mean that most people may not be able to afford to spend as much as fans in higher-income towns on music. To support the claims, the author needs to provide data showing that Monroe is a high-income town and its residents can afford to spend $1000 on music.
In conclusion, the developers' argument rests on assumptions that concert attendance, a highly-rated radio program, and nationwide spending on music directly translate to the success of the jazz club. More evidence needs to be provided to substantiate these claims.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 31 15
No. of Words: 585 350
No. of Characters: 2927 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.918 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.003 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.738 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 209 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 160 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 124 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 76 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.871 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.613 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.71 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.468 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 96, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...roof of a ready market. It is true that a large number of people attending music concerts indicat...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 511, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'proximity'.
Suggestion: proximity
... listeners are from within Monroe or in close proximity to the proposed site for building the c...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 824, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'proximity'.
Suggestion: proximity
... the radio listeners actually reside in close proximity to the site of club development. Fin...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 347, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'yearly' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'yearlies'.
Suggestion: yearlies
...her towns where fans spend at least 000 yearly on music, this assumption cannot be jus...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'developers'' or 'developer's'?
Suggestion: developers'; developer's
...end 000 on music. In conclusion, the developers argument rests on assumptions that conc...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, so, then, therefore, well, while, after all, at least, in conclusion, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 25.0 13.6137724551 184% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2995.0 2260.96107784 132% => OK
No of words: 584.0 441.139720559 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12842465753 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.91590194646 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81478465306 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 204.123752495 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.405821917808 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 945.9 705.55239521 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.8955676152 57.8364921388 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.6129032258 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8387096774 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.06451612903 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.322300956931 0.218282227539 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0964027809614 0.0743258471296 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.10924615961 0.0701772020484 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.208489726789 0.128457276422 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0662961527612 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.