A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
In the article, the suggests that a prediction of decreasing headache in the future according to the issued study. However, the argument is rife with holes and some questions have to be addressed to strengthen the argument.
The author claims that Salicylates as a food addictive is a member of same chemical family as aspirin as headache remedy and implies that it has the same function as aspirin. The author needs to answer if Salicylates does have headache treatment effect of credibly clinic study? Does it has any credible evidence showing that the effective remedy to headache? Because even their chemistry factors are almost the same, it doesn’t mean they have the same function or effectiveness. For instance, the alcohol, could be made as a wine to drink or a product to kill bacteria and the latter one is obviously inedible. Therefore, we can’t say Salicylates works as aspirin that could treat headache as well if the medical mechanism is unknown.
Even if Salicylates is really effective as aspirin as implied in the article, the author proposes that fewer patients reported less headache during twenty years studying because more Salicylates added into the processed food and therefore mitigates the headache in the long run. It could be true because there are solid studying reports incorporating consistent diet within twenty years and considerable treatment groups are involved in the experiments with adequate control groups. Still, the author needs to answer the detail of questions, the background and the detail of their diet of participants in the studying. Because, there are many factors which could lead to the phenomenon as declination in headache and the diet habit has been obviously changed in last twenty years, we are not sure if any other factors influencing the presented results. For example, there are more and more people becoming health-conscious and they have changed their diet to more health type, less oil and more vegetable recently. Moreover, they don’t eat processed food which containing Salicylates at all since they’re aware of the danger of the processed food. Therefore, people become healthier and less headache recently. The writer needs to answer the detail questions to make the argument more convincing.
Additionally, the author declares that some health experts predict the residents of Mentia will suffer fewer headache in the future, still, do these health experts have the capabilities to do the prediction? Because we don’t know the detail and the background of “health experts”. Certainly, there experts may really be capable of predicting the future trend since they’re from authoritative institutions and made a lots of publications in the top credible journals, then we’re confident that the results are trustable. However, they could just exaggerate their talent and declare experts as themselves. In reality, there are just graduating from schools without adequate experience about the health stuff as well as not familiar with the chemistry or medicine things. Therefore, the readers could not believe in the content of the argument unless the author provide the counterpart information about the experts.
In conclusion, the writer needs to answer the questions mentioned above to make the argument more cogent.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 527 350
No. of Characters: 2705 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.791 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.133 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.714 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 212 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 158 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 112 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.955 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.665 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.303 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 287, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'have'?
Suggestion: have
...ffect of credibly clinic study? Does it has any credible evidence showing that the ...
^^^
Line 2, column 287, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'have'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: have
...ffect of credibly clinic study? Does it has any credible evidence showing that the ...
^^^
Line 4, column 414, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a lot' or simply 'lots'?
Suggestion: a lot; lots
...rom authoritative institutions and made a lots of publications in the top credible jou...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, moreover, really, so, still, then, therefore, well, for example, for instance, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2781.0 2260.96107784 123% => OK
No of words: 521.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33781190019 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.814081419 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458733205374 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 864.0 705.55239521 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.3165644372 57.8364921388 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.409090909 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6818181818 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.54545454545 5.70786347227 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.235764391794 0.218282227539 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0702386098224 0.0743258471296 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0879781675903 0.0701772020484 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11165188502 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105675080159 0.0628817314937 168% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.99 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 98.500998004 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.