SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's original headquarters. Moreover, Middlesburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, Supercorp clearly made the best decision.
The argument presented bases it's conclusion on incomplete and logically incoherent assumptions. It has not been clearly explained how assumptions stated here like lower taxes and uncomfortability with urban environment make a move to Corporateville the best decision. There can be a number of fields in which Middlesburg may outperform Corporateville.
First and foremost recent surge of homeowers has been given a major factor driving this move. However it is unclear what kind of corporation SuperCorp is. If it deals directly with customers and needs to be in a place with burgeoning population, the Corporateville move may be a good idea. However it can very well be a company that needs other things nearby such as proximity to urban facilities which are provided in an urban environmnet, in which SuperCorp already is. Corporateville may very well be a place where property has recently become cheaper and people are investing in homes without actually caring to live there. Moreover there may already be a large number of homeowners in Middlesburg.
It may be infered, but is never stated that Middlesburg is more towards the bucolic side. So, people prefering to live in a non urban area may yet end up in another concrete jungle. The statistics of the survey that was conducted have not been given clearly. It is unknown weather the survey included majority of the employees or just one's from a particular department. It can be the case that those happy and fulfilled never bothered to give the survey.
A region with lower taxes may not provide the same kind of ameneties to its residents as the region with heigher taxes. Corporateville may have lower taxes but the base cost of certain things there may be heigher. Middlesburg may be providing free or cheaper education and healthcare. Apart from this, there is no direct connection between safety and lower tax rates. A place with enormous tax rates may provide a much safer environment than a place with hight tax rates.
Overall the conclusion is based on very few factors and the factor that are indeed presented do not make a strong case. Therefore it is not be wise to draw such a strong conclusion from these weak assumptions.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 369 350
No. of Characters: 1799 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.383 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.875 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.846 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.491 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.288 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.519 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 95, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...given a major factor driving this move. However it is unclear what kind of corporation ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 291, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...Corporateville move may be a good idea. However it can very well be a company that need...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 629, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
... without actually caring to live there. Moreover there may already be a large number of ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 659, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...ve there. Moreover there may already be a large number of homeowners in Middlesburg. It may be...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 121, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ed presented do not make a strong case. Therefore it is not be wise to draw such a strong...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 141, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
...make a strong case. Therefore it is not be wise to draw such a strong conclusion f...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, well, apart from, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1839.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 369.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9837398374 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38284983912 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90438802069 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.525745257453 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 594.9 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.9530551345 57.8364921388 55% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 87.5714285714 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5714285714 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.71428571429 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.174413430234 0.218282227539 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.051683634172 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0512279578988 0.0701772020484 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.087698192089 0.128457276422 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0838317673749 0.0628817314937 133% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 14.3799401198 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.