Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based
Deciding the ambitions to achieved in human life it is known to be a harsh choice on which anyone need to ponder carefully. A diatribe may rise upon the idea that juveniles should be more guided to pursue worthy goals instead of their dreams. However, I believe that in order to reach happiness young people should follow their dreams and that the two concepts may coincide. In addition, the reason on which is based the claim presents some weaknesses, as it cannot be extended to the generality of individuals and it does not imply a valid motive to not follow dreams.
First of all, individuals are more likely to reach happiness by doing what they mostly prefer. How many are the human beings which conduct a boring life during their existence and for that reason are often gloomy? This occurs as the majority of people did not listen to their inner voice at the time of the most important decision of their life, namely, what to do in the future. Without doubt is important to have a job that allows having a financial stable condition and permits to build a family without the preoccupation of unemployment. Nevertheless, it is essential that individuals feel gratified by their achievements in order to conduct a delighted life. For this reason, society should continue teaching youngsters to purse their dreams, even if this is the most tortuous decision.
Furthermore, it is hard to believe that the majority of people seek dreams characterised by selfishness. Actually, a plethora of examples can be founded in history which disproves the reason on which is based the claim. M.L. King, for instance, spent his entire life seeking to obtain equal rights among US citizens, improving the life quality of the Afro-American minority. His dream was pure and absolutely the most distant from being egoistic. In addition, even though one attempts a selfish objective, does the latter generate always negative effects for the community? From a particular point of view, it is possible to assert that each dream has a certain degree of egoism, as we are focusing on the success of our desires. Nonetheless, the relevant matter is the impact of its realisation. From one hand, the political victory of a candidate can be seen as an egoistic success, but on the other hand, it can also be seen as an opportunity for changing and development. Accordingly, apparently selfish goals should not be always treated with hostility.
Moreover, opponents to the presented argument could aver that only by seeking worthy ambitions individuals can conduct and easier and carefree life. Accordingly, people in young age should only concentrate on those, avoiding efforts on the attainment of dreams. However, where is it written that a dream cannot be at the same time a worthy goal? Actually, it does not exist a precise definition of the latter, as it is a subjective concept. For example, working for a renowned multinational company may be the most satisfying goal for a person and contemporaneously the less desirable objective for another. Consequently, the subjectivity of the matter can strength the idea that by reaching dreams, people are still achieving worthy goals.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 482, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'building'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'permit' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: building
... financial stable condition and permits to build a family without the preoccupation of u...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, actually, also, apparently, but, consequently, first, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, nonetheless, so, still, for example, for instance, in addition, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.5258426966 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.4196629213 137% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 33.0505617978 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 58.6224719101 114% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2651.0 2235.4752809 119% => OK
No of words: 527.0 442.535393258 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03036053131 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79129216042 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85380667245 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 271.0 215.323595506 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514231499051 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 829.8 704.065955056 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.2370786517 124% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.034672694 60.3974514979 55% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 106.04 118.986275619 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.08 23.4991977007 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.68 5.21951772744 166% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.243192705283 0.243740707755 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0673358033634 0.0831039109588 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0535698727314 0.0758088955206 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154678161083 0.150359130593 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0532177204477 0.0667264976115 80% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.1392134831 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.1639044944 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.6 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 131.0 100.480337079 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 11.8971910112 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.