Claim Young people s tendency to make extensive use of portable devices like smartphones and tablets has hurt their development of social skills Reason These devices encourage users to form artificial personalities and relationships online rather than ful

Essay topics:

Claim: Young people's tendency to make extensive use of portable devices like smartphones and tablets has hurt their development of social skills.
Reason: These devices encourage users to form artificial personalities and relationships online rather than fully and honestly engaging with the people around them.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

The first ever portable mobile device was invented back in the 1980s and was 10 inches approximately 25 cm long. Moving forward in time, we have comparatively more convenient portable electronic devices, that are much smaller in size. In today’s era, this highlights the fact that, with advanced technologies and increasing convenience, it is understood that people will expand their comfort zone as time and new innovations permit them to. I mostly agree with the claim that the extensive use of portable devices has deeply affected the development of social skills of young people for the stated reason(encouragement of forming artificial personalities online rather than honest engagement with real people).

However, I contend that these devices have a much larger effect on young minds than contemplated for additional reasons. To begin, Personality surveys and statistics all around the world show that there are 25% more introverted people when compared to the other sections of a pie chart depicting various personalities that include percentages of extroverts, ambiverts, and even socially anxious groups of people. Devices like smartphones, tablets, and even portable laptops these days, have made it easier for people who have difficulty interacting with other people around them, to avoid mingling up, but rather hide behind a 4-inch screen and be dishonest with their true selves via texting/SMS, etc.

Moreover, there surely are fields in which this wisdom does not apply. Some people would prefer late-night talks under an open sky or spending time with others in numerous forms of social gatherings like parties, family functions, and offline meetings, smart devices have gradually terminated the discovering abilities of many young minds to just a small screen and have restricted their capabilities to do much more by unveiling the digital and artificial personalities. For instance, platforms like Instagram and Twitter have allowed many young minds to make the current world issues trend all over the internet, but what bugs me is that these platforms do not let people hold the same voice they’re able to boldly present online, before the real executives, i.e.; the government.

Although the world has advanced to a great extent in terms of technology and artificial intelligence, humans need to get out of their comfort zones and allow themselves to evolve in a much larger social world where an outrageous number of opportunities await them to take over and bring about another revolution free of mind-numbing distractions like these devices that limit their capabilities and potentials.

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Average: 8.3 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 219, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: smaller
...table electronic devices, that are much smaller in size. In today’s era, this highlights the fa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...an honest engagement with real people. However, I contend that these devices ha...
^^^^
Line 3, column 704, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... their true selves via texting/SMS, etc. Moreover, there surely are fields in whi...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, moreover, so, even so, for instance, to a great extent

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 19.5258426966 41% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.4196629213 24% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 33.0505617978 94% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 58.6224719101 92% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2220.0 2235.4752809 99% => OK
No of words: 409.0 442.535393258 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.42787286064 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90791802344 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 215.323595506 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.616136919315 0.4932671777 125% => OK
syllable_count: 678.6 704.065955056 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 20.2370786517 54% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 37.0 23.0359550562 161% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 112.894231199 60.3974514979 187% => OK
Chars per sentence: 201.818181818 118.986275619 170% => OK
Words per sentence: 37.1818181818 23.4991977007 158% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.18181818182 5.21951772744 138% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.2758426966 68% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.296386301395 0.243740707755 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105187787289 0.0831039109588 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0961312472702 0.0758088955206 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.173565091466 0.150359130593 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0579833585233 0.0667264976115 87% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 22.7 14.1392134831 161% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 25.46 48.8420337079 52% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 18.9 12.1743820225 155% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.81 12.1639044944 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.1 8.38706741573 120% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 100.480337079 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 11.8971910112 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.8 11.2143820225 150% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.