Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The author contends that, youngsters should have a long-term realistic goal rather than having to seek immediate fame. In my opinion, I partially agree with the author, for the following three reasons.
To begin with, change is permanent in the society and is inevitable. Thus, it is crucial for people to adapt to the change. If there is fame one day, it might disappear the next day, so nothing is certain. But if a person is specialised in a particular field, he can create his own opportunity by building a business or start up. For instance, if a student has a goal to become a chip manufacturer in the future, he would specialise in chip designing. But what about the job opportunities for chip manufacture? Opportunities are everywhere and maybe he can create his own opportunity by creating his own company. For example, China is known for its chip manufacturing companies where as India is known for its agriculture and South Korea is known for its music industry. Thus, long term goal will provide a stable life and would be hard to get knocked down by future trends.
Also, those people who have a particular goal need not worry about the fame because media will definitely seek people who are talented and hard working. For example, in the field of music, idols are supposed to be trainees for at least 2 years. There are trainees who trained for about 17 years before reaching fame. For instance, let’s consider the kpop boy band BTS, which broke worldwide records and are adored by their fans. The members of BTS were trainees for about 3 years before debuting. While they received criticism at first, now they are known all around the world. It is their true determination and hard work which paved their way towards fame and success. Thus, fame can be achieved by having a long term goal too.
However, there are also young people who came into fame and made their talent into a long term goal. For example, Justin Bieber, an American singer, had a talent of singing, so his mother posted a video of him singing in social media which gained many fans for him. Thus, he made singing as his long term goal while improving alongside fame. From the above example it is clear that fame gave a passion and interest towards his music. Hence, immediate fame can also be a good decision.
In conclusion, youngsters who have determination can achieve anything even if it is fame or long time goal. So, it is not our position to force youngsters; therefore, it is in youngsters hands whether to wait or to immediately spread their wings and fly.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 679, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'whereas'?
Suggestion: whereas
...wn for its chip manufacturing companies where as India is known for its agriculture and ...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, may, so, therefore, thus, while, at least, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in my opinion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.5258426966 133% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 33.0505617978 106% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 58.6224719101 78% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2114.0 2235.4752809 95% => OK
No of words: 449.0 442.535393258 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.70824053452 5.05705443957 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56330700558 2.79657885939 92% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 215.323595506 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.530066815145 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 660.6 704.065955056 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.0359550562 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.9211537882 60.3974514979 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 81.3076923077 118.986275619 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2692307692 23.4991977007 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.80769230769 5.21951772744 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.242508813842 0.243740707755 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0684596977243 0.0831039109588 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.05324562519 0.0758088955206 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.148014191443 0.150359130593 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0635033796439 0.0667264976115 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 14.1392134831 66% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.8420337079 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.1743820225 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.74 12.1639044944 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.38706741573 91% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 100.480337079 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 11.8971910112 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.2143820225 78% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.