Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this is a bad example to adolescents To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this is a bad example to adolescents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Stepping into the 21st century, many celebrities tend to widen their popularity through the massive property and extravagant luxurious lifestyle rather than their successes in their professions. However, with the majority of fans from teenagers, this leaves a controversial concern on the growing-up of them. Personally, to some extent, I agree that celebrities’ wealth has gone fairly over the top but in the other cases, this statement does not reveal the whole scenario.
First and foremost, as many juveniles look up to their idols as a standard model to learn after, this trend misdirects their total growing-up process. The most noticeable flaw is the improper materialistic viewpoint of others. By chasing down the appealing appearance, fancy luxuries the kids’ appreciation towards inner values are undermined. For example, many kids take these lifestyles as a standard to judge people based on their condition instead of their characteristics or endeavor. In the long term, this leads to the exacerbation of the whole operating system from the perspectives of the others.
However, while some prefer to brighten up their reputation in this way, many renowned still persistently transfer the positivity to their fans. For example, Bill Gates, a distinguished billionaire, with monumental contributions to this digital world, instead of showing off his uncountable budget, spreads the message of the real inner quality in his everyday image. He has the reputation for dressing up simply in casual inexpensive clothes many times in public which reminds both the teenagers in particular and the society as a whole of cherishing the precious values inside the products instead of the extravagant cost and ornamental meanings.
In conclusion, I partly root for the opinion that many use wealth to be known by others, still there are many still spread the positive messages to the whole society as a whole.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Stepping into the 21st century, many cel...
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Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nt does not reveal the whole scenario. First and foremost, as many juveniles lo...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... from the perspectives of the others. However, while some prefer to brighten u...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ravagant cost and ornamental meanings. In conclusion, I partly root for the opi...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, so, still, while, for example, in conclusion, in particular

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 13.1623246493 30% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 7.85571142285 0% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 7.30460921844 41% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 24.0651302605 100% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 41.998997996 119% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1617.0 1615.20841683 100% => OK
No of words: 301.0 315.596192385 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.37209302326 5.12529762239 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16525528304 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98504937169 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 176.041082164 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.607973421927 0.561755894193 108% => OK
syllable_count: 499.5 506.74238477 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 52.8533085267 49.4020404114 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.75 106.682146367 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0833333333 20.7667163134 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.5 7.06120827912 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.226550179177 0.244688304435 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0772492333044 0.084324248473 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.058992261544 0.0667982634062 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135203562714 0.151304729494 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0539816844841 0.056905535591 95% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 13.0946893788 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 50.2224549098 75% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 11.3001002004 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 12.4159519038 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.96 8.58950901804 116% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 78.4519038076 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 9.78957915832 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.7795591182 139% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.