Children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smart phones, video games
for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would
be better for children’s development.
This era, we are living in, technology plays an important role in humans being life. In this regard, as far as I concern, I do not share this statement that claims that physical toys can more develop the personality of children in comparison to computer games. Modern games—that based on technology—not only learn skills to kids but also improve their brain activity because they are more complex than simple ones. I would like to examine my reasons in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, children who are familiar with computer games can come up with new technology in comparison to children who either play physical toys or play outside. This feature, up-to-dating in less time has quite a few benefits for them, namely, job opportunities, making income. For instance, my cousin, Joe, when he was just eight-year-old could play almost games. Playing these games helped him to become a technical person who could fix computer problems. Therefore, Joe could work as a technician computer and made money for himself, when he just was fourteen, as his skill in technology.
The second, video games are more complicated than toys, that would be challenging for kids. On the other hand, physical toys are very simple that cannot develop a kid’s brain. For instance, there is a game, Clash of Clans, in which players have to collect assets, gem, and spend them for either attacking to other areas or making facilities in their own area. By playing this game, children would learn how to spend the budget in optimizing manner. Therefore, children not only play a game but also learn how to manage their budget.
In conclusion, in the state-of-the-art world, becoming familiar with new technology have many benefit for kids that make them more modernized person. The kid’s mind would not be developed enough by neither playing simple toys nor playing outdoor. Therefore, lacking skills in technology might be dangerous for their future.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 324 350
No. of Characters: 1564 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.243 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.827 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.49 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 104 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.69 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.31 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.122 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5