Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is better for young people to select a job in the same field as their parents than to choose a different career for themselves.
Some people think that it is better for young people to select different jobs from their parents’ jobs. However, in my opinion, young people will have more advantages when they work at the same field as their parents. That is because they can receive some useful advice easily from their parents who are experts in that field and use the relationship between them to create a useful cooperation by working at the same field.
To begin with, if younger select their jobs in the same field with their parents, they can get easily helpful advice from masters like their parents. Parents have worked at their field a long time, so they have a lot of experience about the work. So if young people work at the same field, it will be a good chance to learn how to work. Also, It is easier ask for some help to their parents than to others. For example, I read online that Steve Jobs, who is the founder of Apple, learned to deal with computers from their parents. His parents were the owners of a company that products computers, so he was interested in the computer’s mechanism and he worked at his parents’ company as part-time job. When he was 20 years old, he decided to start a business related computers and created a company named Macintosh. He said he did it by working with his parents and learning about computers from them. Therefore, it shows it is more beneficial for young people to select a job in the same field with their parents.
On top of that, if young people work at the same field as their parents, they can utilize the useful relationship between them. By using the relationship of them and the field they work at, they can create a useful business cooperation. It makes them fulfill each other if there is something to need help. For instance, there is a major company in Korea named Samsung. It has many subsidiary companies like Samsung Electronics, Samsung Mobile and so on. The owners of these companies are family and they work together by helping each other. So they can cooperate on making new products like using the Samsung Electronics’ skill of screen to make a premium mobile phone, so they have made surprising things and they became a major company.
To sum up, young people who want to get the same career their parents did can get very helpful advice from them and use the relationship to create a useful cooperation. I firmly believe it is more advantageous for younger to have a similar job with their parents.
- Universities should spend as much money on sports as they do on libraries 50
- The most efficient way for a country to progress is to improve its schools 35
- Providing students with grades promotes learning 60
- Should governments spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should they spend more money on improving public transortation(buses, trains, subways)? Ehy? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. 60
- some people say that the internet provides us with a lot of valuable information, others think that access to so many information creates problem, which view do you agree with. 60
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 302, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...useful advice easily from their parents who are experts in that field and use the relat...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, so, therefore, for example, for instance, in my opinion, to begin with, to sum up, on top of that
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2037.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 437.0 407.700716846 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.66132723112 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57214883401 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54351094373 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.418764302059 0.524837075471 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 632.7 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.1977147507 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.0 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8095238095 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52380952381 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.276655347997 0.236089414692 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111797137995 0.076458572812 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.107239407636 0.0737576698707 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.207160941391 0.150856017488 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0883205643367 0.0645574589148 137% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.98 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 86.8835125448 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.