some parents give their children money for each high grade they get in school
School-age children have attracted much social concern. Many educators around the world argue that some parents give their children money for each high grade they get in school. Personally, I agree with this argument.
On the one hand, personal enjoyment draws much of my attention. It is widely known that giving money to children creates a chance for students to have money. Therefore, they are likely to pursue their hobbies such as reading, swimming ,... Thus, it brings them many relaxing moments. As a result, it is possible for students to be happier. More interestingly, getting money for each high grade motivates students to try hard at learning. Hence, in order to get a high-grade, students are bound to pay more attention to learning. Thus, they stand a golden chance to understand deeply many lessons at the class which helps them to increase their work performance. As a consequence, they are happier. Beyond any doubt, giving children money for each high grade they get in school brings many benefits to students.
On the other hand, it is claimed that the school-age children are too young to use money which always leads them to be involved in many harmful things. However, this is just applicable to a minority. Children always have their parents to help and prevent them from many harmful things. Furthermore, being involved with money at a young age help students understand the value of money. Thus, it encourages them to learn how to use money wisely way. As a result, they stand a golden chance to acquire money management skills which lays the first steps for their future careers. Without a doubt, receiving money for each high grade is very good for their future careers.
All in all, personal enjoyment and a bright future are convincing reasons for my argument. It is highly recommended that people should carefully consider my writing to make the right decision on this issue.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 235, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... their hobbies such as reading, swimming ,... Thus, it brings them many relaxing m...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, hence, however, so, therefore, thus, such as, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 13.8261648746 14% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1595.0 1977.66487455 81% => OK
No of words: 320.0 407.700716846 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.984375 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22948505376 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53479967309 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 159.0 212.727598566 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.496875 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 473.4 618.680645161 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.8829211516 48.9658058833 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 72.5 100.406767564 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.5454545455 20.6045352989 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.36363636364 5.45110844103 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.548427085973 0.236089414692 232% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.151089055287 0.076458572812 198% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.179643389511 0.0737576698707 244% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.348804830842 0.150856017488 231% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.19510566751 0.0645574589148 302% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.3 11.7677419355 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 58.1214874552 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.01 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.24 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 86.8835125448 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.0 10.002688172 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.