Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.
As the various parts of the technology developed, the burden that young people have to take is increase. Not only young people have to learn diverse subjects or knowledges compared with old people but they also have duty to take care of them. With the further reasons, I insist that do not investing enough time to community is not young people’s intention, and it is actually well implemented in many ways.
young people are actually invest quiet many times for community. people are normally thinking voluntary service or helping without reward is true meaning of helping. however, donation or attending local part can also be the part of supporting communities. For example, one of the famous youtuber in japan, kankan, helped community as attending local festival. kankan unintentionally advertised that moment as a short clip of video. Before he posted video, average visiting number was around 6000 to 6500. Regardless of festival’s content or quality, the awareness of that festival was low, and the advertisement is not properly executed. however, after the video released, over 3 million people visited in a week. kankan did not donate money or enthusiastically participated as a staff member. he simply helped the community with the video. Therefore, for the young people, the way of serving community is numerous and unique.
Furthermore, young people have no time to help community. As I mentioned above, there are tremendous works that young people have to solve out. By the development of health care and medicine, average age range of old people is increased. Some of them can participate work place, however, most of them need to be assisted by young people who can earn money. Insurance fee or tax for community is burden for young people. Moreover, one of the marriage institutions in America had a survey for young people about the marriage. around 60 percents of young people answered that they do not have plan to have marriage in 3 years. The main reason is because of the extra finance they have to pay for community and government. Not only they cannot bear time for leisure, but they also obtain no time to manage each other when they are engaged. Nowadays young people are hard to spend their time on helping by ignoring other important problems they have to take responsibility.
Although the way of how help community is changing and diverse than normal people think, young people are benefiting their community. however, young people are hard to manage the time for community, with the reason of development of knowledge and burden that they are imparted for old people.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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...ually well implemented in many ways. young people are actually invest quiet m...
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... well implemented in many ways. young people are actually invest quiet many t...
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... invest quiet many times for community. people are normally thinking voluntary service...
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Suggestion: However
...hout reward is true meaning of helping. however, donation or attending local part can a...
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Suggestion: Kankan
... community as attending local festival. kankan unintentionally advertised that moment ...
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Suggestion: However
...advertisement is not properly executed. however, after the video released, over 3 milli...
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Suggestion: Kankan
...ver 3 million people visited in a week. kankan did not donate money or enthusiasticall...
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Suggestion: He
...tically participated as a staff member. he simply helped the community with the vi...
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...ng community is numerous and unique. Furthermore, young people have no time t...
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...ey for young people about the marriage. around 60 percents of young people answered th...
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Message: Use past participle here: 'planned'.
Suggestion: planned
...g people answered that they do not have plan to have marriage in 3 years. The main r...
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...ms they have to take responsibility. Although the way of how help community i...
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... people are benefiting their community. however, young people are hard to manage the ti...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, furthermore, however, moreover, so, therefore, thus, well, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 43.0788530466 58% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2202.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 433.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08545034642 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56165014514 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74926525268 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496535796767 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 704.7 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.59856630824 21% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.652591423 48.9658058833 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.6923076923 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6538461538 20.6045352989 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.5 5.45110844103 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.5376344086 235% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.349686198872 0.236089414692 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100081211601 0.076458572812 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0871085383647 0.0737576698707 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.22660835588 0.150856017488 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0497174288933 0.0645574589148 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.26 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 86.8835125448 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.