A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college

Essay topics:

A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college

The writer contends that "a nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college". I concede if the country is small and has not diversity in the society, then the writer's reccommendation can be good, however, in the case when a naton is big and largely diversified then the auther's recommendation would be counterproductive in many ways.

First, if a nation is big, for example India, a country with huge population and large area, where in south the culture and tradition, language is totally different than those in North India. The tradition, culture, language in Sikkim is different than those in Mumbai, in such case when the government require the same national curriculum, there may appear several problems regarding with culture, tradition and language. Those which are need to be taught in South, that may be totally irrelevant. For example, North students primarily should know their culture, tradition and language, requiring the same north curriculum in south no more make sense. If North students need to study, Tamil, Malyalam language primarily, it is detrimental to the society. It leads tumultuous production of the students.

Secondly, when a country is too small and have uniform cuture, tradition and language, in such case the author's recommendation would be advantageous. In this scenario, requiring same curriculum to all of its students, that may save money and time of the government. The different curriculum might be useless. In order to develop the different curriculum, government often spends huge amount of money and workforce in large scale,developing uniform curriculum needs relatively less government money, that surplus money government can use in other social sector.

In sum, I believe, the writer's recommendation is both advantageous and disadvantageous caswise. In some case presented above, it would be advantageous and in some case in would't be. Hence I concede partially with the writer's contention.

Votes
Average: 6.2 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 166, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...radition, language is totally different than those in North India. The tradition, cu...
^^^^
Line 3, column 249, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...ulture, language in Sikkim is different than those in Mumbai, in such case when the ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 105, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...radition and language, in such case the authors recommendation would be advantageous. I...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 429, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , developing
...nt of money and workforce in large scale,developing uniform curriculum needs relatively les...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 24, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
...ocial sector. In sum, I believe, the writers recommendation is both advantageous an...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 49, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...I believe, the writers recommendation is both advantageous and disadvantageous ca...
^^
Line 7, column 98, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...vantageous and disadvantageous caswise. In some case presented above, it would b...
^^
Line 7, column 100, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ntageous and disadvantageous caswise. In some case presented above, it would be a...
^^^
Line 7, column 186, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ntageous and in some case in wouldt be. Hence I concede partially with the writers co...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 221, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
... be. Hence I concede partially with the writers contention.
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 33.0505617978 54% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 58.6224719101 61% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 12.9106741573 132% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1703.0 2235.4752809 76% => OK
No of words: 314.0 442.535393258 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.42356687898 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20951839842 4.55969084622 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11555644389 2.79657885939 111% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 215.323595506 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.512738853503 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 533.7 704.065955056 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.4785018709 60.3974514979 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.533333333 118.986275619 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9333333333 23.4991977007 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.46666666667 5.21951772744 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 7.80617977528 128% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 10.2758426966 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.290785701171 0.243740707755 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0976411627341 0.0831039109588 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.188148847634 0.0758088955206 248% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.17277381936 0.150359130593 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.15344004797 0.0667264976115 230% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.1392134831 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.8420337079 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 12.1639044944 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 100.480337079 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 11.8971910112 164% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.