The following appeared in a recommendation from the President of the Amburg Chamber of Commerce.
"Last October, the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined almost immediately. The city of Amburg, on the other hand, recently instituted police patrols on bicycles in its business district. However, the rate of vandalism here remains constant. Since high- intensity lighting is clearly the most effective way to combat crime, we recommend using the money that is currently being spent on bicycle patrols to install such lighting throughout Amburg. If we install this high-intensity lighting, we will significantly reduce crime rates in Amburg."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
According to the argument made by the President of the Amburg Chamber of Commerce, crime rate can be reduced in Amburg by using the money currently being spent for bicycle patrols to install high-intensity lighting. He/she makes such an argument based on the assumption that, since in the city of Belleville, installation of high-intensity lighting reduced vandalism almost immediately, the same effect can be observed in Amburg as well - not only that, crime rate in Amburg can also be reduced significantly. The argument is lacking in adequate evidences to support its conclusion. Thus, the following questions need to be answered.
Building on the implication that vandalism reduced in Belleville after installing high-intensity lighting will have the same effect in Amburg, vis-a-vis reducing crime, we can come up with the following questions. Maybe the city of Belleville already has police patrols on bicycles and thus, installing the lights were helpful to the bike patrols, resulting in reduced rate of vandalism. Are there any other measures taken by the city of Belleville to reduce vandalism? Perhaps the city of Belleville has issued neighbourhood watches. Were there any initiatives with similar agenda started in Belleville? Answering these questions will help to make it clear that the high-intensity lights are the cause for reduction in vandalism, and the only cause.
Furthermore, the author goes so far as to say that high-intensity lights will help to reduce crime. Not just vandalism, crime as a whole. This is a very far-reaching assumption. Did the overall crime rate reduce in Belleville? That may not be true. Maybe only the vandalism rates decreased. Or even if it is true, that could mean a multitude of things. Maybe Belleville has already reduced crime rates for crimes other than vandalism. Is vandalism Amburg's greatest problem? Are there other crimes that need to be addressed first? If the answer is yes, then measures have to be taken to reduce overall crime, not just focus on vandalism.
From the previous paragraph, we can note another assumption. The argument states that bike patrols have had no effect on vandalism. Is it possible that bike patrol has helped reduce other forms of crime such as petty theft, burglary or worse, murders? If it is so, then allocating the money given to bike patrols for installing high-intensity lighting is going to be counterproductive. Thus, the imapct of bike patrol on overall crime rate has to be studied.
The argument is rife with holes and assumptions. Thus, only upon answering the above-mentioned questions, proper decision should be taken.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 423 350
No. of Characters: 2145 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.535 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.071 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.89 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.107 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.955 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.279 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.459 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 448, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'Amburgs the greatest'.
Suggestion: Amburgs the greatest
...imes other than vandalism. Is vandalism Amburgs greatest problem? Are there other crimes that ne...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, if, may, so, then, thus, well, as to, such as, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2205.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 422.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22511848341 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0004349641 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464454976303 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 703.8 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 62.7969679497 57.8364921388 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.75 119.503703932 66% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.0714285714 23.324526521 65% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.96428571429 5.70786347227 52% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.200484782707 0.218282227539 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0561262702384 0.0743258471296 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0600915683363 0.0701772020484 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113084329353 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0923516036382 0.0628817314937 147% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 47.79 48.3550499002 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.46 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.79 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.