argument
In this memo, the manager of NAV TV claims that to overcome the decrease in the potential audience of its news channel, they should rather switch to pop and rock format. To support his claim, he has given an evidance of the national wide survey about the increase in proclivity towards the same music format. Close scrutiny of the evidance leads little credible support, which render it unconviencing as it stands.
To begin with, the news channel's viewership decreased even with increase in population. This clearly means that the audience who were actually watching this station before switched to another one, thus leading to a clear indication that the quality of the news shown might have fallen down. It has nothing to do with the format of stations' display but rather to do with the quality of display. However, if the manager would have provided some evidance about the quality being constant, the claim would have been stronger.
Secondly, switching to a form of music entertainment channel makes them vulnerably dependent on one category of age group. This can actually lead to decrease in the already existing viewership. This step can lead to devastating result if the craze towards pop and rock music declines. The channel might suffer from a loss on both ends, i.e. the news format and the music format. The manger must provide some supporting article that makes sure that its already existing audience won't suffer with his proposal.
Finally, the manager fails to provide enough evidance as to if switching from news to music will definitely make their audience increase. Had the manger provider more supporting data towards the same the memo would have made more impact. There is no evidance to prove that music channels are not suffer the same fate as the news channel in the recent time.
To sum it all, I would like to say that I rather stand paranoid about the mangers decision. To bolster his claim he has to provide more substantial evidance and rather more illustrations about the same.
- The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company. "According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in an 41
- movies 70
- issue 16
- The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. 50
- argument 16
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 310, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: Scrutiny
...oclivity towards the same music format. Close scrutiny of the evidance leads little credible s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 419, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had provided'?
Suggestion: had provided
...ity of display. However, if the manager would have provided some evidance about the quality being c...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 297, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'suffered'.
Suggestion: suffered
...ce to prove that music channels are not suffer the same fate as the news channel in th...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, finally, however, if, second, secondly, so, thus, as to, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 19.6327345309 25% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1682.0 2260.96107784 74% => OK
No of words: 340.0 441.139720559 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.94705882353 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29407602571 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4462456228 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.520588235294 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 522.0 705.55239521 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.503501206 57.8364921388 54% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 98.9411764706 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.218282227539 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.0743258471296 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0701772020484 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.128457276422 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0628817314937 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.43 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 98.500998004 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.