TPO5 independent writing- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.
Nowadays, various entertainment facilities distract people from their work and study than before. Some people tend with a wide range of ways to chill them out and get out of their comfort zone. however, methods of enjoyment don't equal too much time. I insist on the opinion that people put more emphasis on doing things they should do.
Firstly, people must focus on studying or working in order to feed themselves in recent years. Increasingly, society forces people to work hard to triumph in competing with others. Human resources in companies usually pick the winner in the interviewee, whatever whether others can qualify for the position. With the increasing number of candidates and limited jobs, they have to add value to themselves in harder work. if they put too much time into enjoyment, they will lose their job and can't make a living in society. For example, in my country China, there will be ten million graduates seeking jobs. but the market has just about 2 million positions. companies can't contain so many graduates, so they prefer candidates with higher degrees. so an ocean of graduates continues to study for a master's or Ph.D. degree. however, in the past 10 years, a graduate can easily attain a well-paid job in Shanghai or Beijing. Therefore, people need to spend more time on something they should do.
Secondly, money plays a vital role in people's life, people force themselves into working or studying to make more money. Without money, people can't afford anything in this world. Imagine that your child wants to go to the Top 30 University in the USA but you can't pay for it, how pity it is! money meets both our basic and advanced needs in daily life so we want to earn as much as we can. In other words, people usually transfer their time from entertainment to working. Take me as an example, I am a programmer in a big company with a well-paid salary. however, if I want to buy a house, I must work harder in my leisure time, or I can only live in a tiny apartment after retirement. In a word, I force myself into working to improve my life quality.
In conclusion, I believe that people spend more time on what they should do rather than what they like to do.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-07-17 | M. MEHRABI KERMANI | 60 | view |
| 2023-04-14 | sonyeoso | 85 | view |
| 2023-03-31 | Dat_Nguyen | 71 | view |
| 2022-10-22 | Shubham Patel | 77 | view |
| 2022-10-22 | Shubham Patel | 66 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 195, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
... out and get out of their comfort zone. however, methods of enjoyment dont equal too mu...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 225, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ort zone. however, methods of enjoyment dont equal too much time. I insist on the op...
^^^^
Line 3, column 421, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...add value to themselves in harder work. if they put too much time into enjoyment, ...
^^
Line 3, column 492, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...enjoyment, they will lose their job and cant make a living in society. For example, ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 607, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
... be ten million graduates seeking jobs. but the market has just about 2 million pos...
^^^
Line 3, column 658, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Companies
...ket has just about 2 million positions. companies cant contain so many graduates, so they...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 668, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...st about 2 million positions. companies cant contain so many graduates, so they pref...
^^^^
Line 3, column 747, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
... prefer candidates with higher degrees. so an ocean of graduates continues to stud...
^^
Line 3, column 795, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a master' or simply 'masters'?
Suggestion: a master; masters
...ean of graduates continues to study for a masters or Ph.D. degree. however, in the past 1...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 822, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...to study for a masters or Ph.D. degree. however, in the past 10 years, a graduate can e...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 144, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... make more money. Without money, people cant afford anything in this world. Imagine ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 260, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...he Top 30 University in the USA but you cant pay for it, how pity it is! money meets...
^^^^
Line 5, column 293, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Money
...ut you cant pay for it, how pity it is! money meets both our basic and advanced needs...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 556, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
... a big company with a well-paid salary. however, if I want to buy a house, I must work ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, for example, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 2.0 15.1003584229 13% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.0286738351 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1813.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 390.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.64871794872 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44391917772 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5013198357 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 212.727598566 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.571794871795 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 561.6 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.4817238128 48.9658058833 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.8260869565 100.406767564 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.9565217391 20.6045352989 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.5376344086 253% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.288899787998 0.236089414692 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0835068413204 0.076458572812 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.134400241379 0.0737576698707 182% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.246918497072 0.150856017488 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.153169111595 0.0645574589148 237% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.0 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 58.1214874552 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.39 10.9000537634 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.