The following appeared in the City Council proceedings section of the local newspaper in Smithville.
"The city council of Smithville has recommended making changes to police procedures to improve the visibility of the police force. These changes includes hiring more police officers, budgeting more funds for police overtime, and directing officers to patrol significantly more often on foot than from their patrol cars. These improvements in visibility would significantly lower the crime rate in Smithville and make its citizens feel safer."
The author concludes that changes in police procedures to improve the visibility of the police force will significantly reduce crime rate in Smithville. His evidence is that recruiting more police officers into the force, allocating more funds for police overtime and indulging officers to patrol more on foot than in vehicles. While this argument may seem logical at first glance, the argument relies on unsupported assumptions for which there is no clear evidence.
First, the writer assumes that recruiting more officers into the police force will significantly lower the crime rate. This is a possible solution but on what basis are these said police officers going to be recruited on? Are they going to be tested based on exemplary skills that can make a huge difference in the force? Suppose, that the said "new police officers" are hired and are just as inefficient as majority of the police officers in the force, then the city has done nothing but succeeded in adding just numbers to the force. However, a more logical evidence would be that these officers will be recruited based on standard and transparent policies in order to strengthen the effectiveness of the police force.
Additionally, the writer assumes that budgeting more funds for police overtime will increase the visibility of the police force but provides no evidence of the city's economic status. What if there's a budget shortfall? then this means the police officers are not likely to be hired for quite some time. Similarly, there's also another what if situation that the money budgeted may not be used to implement these strategies. The author would have been considerably persuasive, if he provided evidence showing the accountability of the police force.
Furthermore, the writer suggests directing officers to patrol more on foot than from their vehicles. In effect, foot patrol is proactive because it involves the community and allows them to establish friendly relationships with law enforcement. On the other hand, because of the convenience of technology, police cars are equipped with computers; so vehicle patrol has the advantage of officers being able to easily look up information regarding potential suspects. Because they are both effective, one should not be disregarded because they can be used to complement each other in order to give citizens a perception of safety.
The notion that these changes in police procedures would substantially reduce crime rate can be strengthened by evidence. For example, if a city with the similar demographics with Smithville had implemented all these strategies and it resulted in reduced crime rate, then one can conclude that these policies can be implemented in Smithville and would work.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 437 350
No. of Characters: 2249 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.572 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.146 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.774 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.278 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.854 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 192, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...e of the citys economic status. What if theres a budget shortfall? then this means the...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 219, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Then
...tus. What if theres a budget shortfall? then this means the police officers are not ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 314, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...e hired for quite some time. Similarly, theres also another what if situation that the...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, look, may, regarding, similarly, so, then, while, for example, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2310.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 437.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.28604118993 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57214883401 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87091162177 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.475972540046 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 765.9 705.55239521 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.499444609 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.578947368 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.52631578947 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.200282460438 0.218282227539 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0689969156373 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0685515349538 0.0701772020484 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123225398792 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0555963025313 0.0628817314937 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 31.21 48.3550499002 65% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.64 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.