An international development organization in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A While seeds for this new type of millet cost more farmers will be paid

Essay topics:

An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.

The author states that the government of Targus should do all it can in order to promote the new variety of millet developed by an international organization. For this the author has also given various arguments which I find dubious.

First of all the seeds of the new breed of millet developed costs more which may not encourage many farmers to buy them. It is stated that government will may subsidies to farmers for farming this new variety but it is not stated wether the subsidies will offset the additional costs the farmers have to pay.

Maybe, farming these new seeds may require few special techniques and equipments not similar with the one they are used to which will lead to more costs incurred by the farmers which in turn may also increase the retail price of these variety of millet. This may discourage consumers from buying them.

But even if the subsides paid by the government are huge there is a possibility that a huge number of farmers may shift to farming this new variety which may lead to shortage of other farm products and in future may lead to deficiency of other vitamins in future. These huge subsidies may also put a financial pressure on the government.

Moreover, it is also stated that the millet is already a staple food in Targus, that is people already eat them a lot so a even a new millet may not be sufficient in repleting the deficiency. It must also be stated to what extend the new millet has higher concentration on vitamin A. If the difference is not too significant, it would not be that useful. Maybe promoting some other vitamin A foods like carrots and spinach in diet may be more beneficial.

To accept the authors arguments the author needs to provide definitive proof that the new millet is rich in vitamin A than other foods and also that its farming is not that costly and subsidies will not put any financial pressure on government as well having a systematic approach that prompting farmers to farm the new millet will not lead to paucity of other crops.

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Average: 5.9 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 230, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this variety' or 'these varieties'?
Suggestion: this variety; these varieties
...n may also increase the retail price of these variety of millet. This may discourage consumer...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 254, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...ay lead to deficiency of other vitamins in future. These huge subsidies may also put a fi...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 122, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...hat is people already eat them a lot so a even a new millet may not be sufficient...
^
Line 9, column 391, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'A food' or simply 'foods'?
Suggestion: A food; Foods
...ful. Maybe promoting some other vitamin A foods like carrots and spinach in diet may be...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, moreover, so, well, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1668.0 2260.96107784 74% => OK
No of words: 358.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.65921787709 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34981470047 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53229199163 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 204.123752495 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.446927374302 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 524.7 705.55239521 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 91.6241357314 57.8364921388 158% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.307692308 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5384615385 23.324526521 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.53846153846 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.323458412352 0.218282227539 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.125574854165 0.0743258471296 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0756368920067 0.0701772020484 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.182518107588 0.128457276422 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0604146776212 0.0628817314937 96% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 12.5979740519 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 358 350
No. of Characters: 1632 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.35 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.559 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.479 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.426 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.917 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.405 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.712 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.168 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5