“The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit primarily to see our magnificent bird population.”
From the author's point of view it is clear the protecting the sanctuary from disastrous consequences is a good initiative but it is not exactly mentioning why the Smith corporation should not be utilising the part of their land for building a small hotel.
As it is evident that Youngstown Wildlife preserve has become a tourist spot as it has magnificent bird population,it should be surrounded by some sort of stalls which satisfy human needs as hunger.The author is not explicitly mentioning the reason as why the smith corporation should not be utilising the place and what is the harm that will be to birds if they start using the place and build their project.
Moreover author made a statement that company is planning to build a small hotel.A hotel generally serves food to human and there is no such damage that is open to the birds living over there.Moreover, the company has promised to the wildlife preserve that there will not be any loss to the wildlife because of their land.But author simply neglected the statement without any proper validation and considered it vague by just simply stating that-"Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary". The statement author made is not providing completed details of why the plan is dangerous to birds and how it is going to affect the wild life.
Hence, on a conclusive note the argument clearly stands on the view of author as not providing a complete picture of the situation and just simply stating an overview which is not validating any of the points he mentioned and therefore it can be counted only upon providing the valid details with a proper explanation and its outcomes.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 6 15
No. of Words: 305 350
No. of Characters: 1429 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.179 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.685 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 50.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 23.815 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.472 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.786 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 115, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...ot as it has magnificent bird population,it should be surrounded by some sort of st...
^^^
Line 3, column 199, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...lls which satisfy human needs as hunger.The author is not explicitly mentioning the...
^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...g the place and build their project. Moreover author made a statement that company is...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 82, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: A
...pany is planning to build a small hotel.A hotel generally serves food to human an...
^
Line 5, column 193, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Moreover
... is open to the birds living over there.Moreover, the company has promised to the wildli...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 323, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
...s to the wildlife because of their land.But author simply neglected the statement w...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, if, moreover, so, therefore, sort of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 28.0 55.5748502994 50% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1464.0 2260.96107784 65% => OK
No of words: 299.0 441.139720559 68% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.89632107023 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1583189471 4.56307096286 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90128333587 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 150.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.501672240803 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 452.7 705.55239521 64% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 5.0 19.7664670659 25% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 59.0 22.8473053892 258% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 154.979224414 57.8364921388 268% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 292.8 119.503703932 245% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 59.8 23.324526521 256% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 9.6 5.70786347227 168% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.188662983415 0.218282227539 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0993062770863 0.0743258471296 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0604467711875 0.0701772020484 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116211897534 0.128457276422 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0532751985276 0.0628817314937 85% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 31.5 14.3799401198 219% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 20.05 48.3550499002 41% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 25.1 12.197005988 206% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 12.03 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.84 8.32208582834 118% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 98.500998004 63% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 30.0 12.3882235529 242% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 25.6 11.1389221557 230% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
More content wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.