Prevention is better that cure.
Out of a country's helath budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Health is considered as most important problem in every country. The Human development Index of a country are depend of the healthiness of its people. Thus, most country spent a lot of budget on their health sector. However, The use of money were spent on treatment the most, whilst it is generally believed that prevention is better than cure.
I strongly agreed that government should spend more money to preventative measures rather than treatment measures. The first thing to consider that Indonesia spent million dollars to purchase medicines and hospital necessities. However, this action unfortunately did not followed by the efforts to fixing and maintaining the local environment to live a healthy life. To illustrate, Indonesia is one of the highest rate countries with the dengue fever patients. The dengue fever were caused by the Aides Aigepty mosquito that have injected the human body. In fact, there are lots of residential area, especially in suburban area that lack of clean water and did not have proper place for home-waste. As a result, people there live under filthy environment.
Despite spending huge budget for curing dengue fever, it would be better if the government spend on residential area reclamation so it would become cleaner and liveable. Moreover, government were expected to provide clean water for their people since water are the main source of life.
Secondly, providing health education also counted as required measure. It is better if children on elementary school are taught how to live a healthy life and to understand which are the good or bad habit for their health.
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Health is considered as most important
Health is considered as the most important
this action unfortunately did not followed by the efforts
this action unfortunately was not followed by the efforts
Sentence: However, The use of money were spent on treatment the most, whilst it is generally believed that prevention is better than cure.
Description: The fragment use of money is not usually followed by were
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace were with was
Sentence: The dengue fever were caused by the Aides Aigepty mosquito that have injected the human body.
Description: The fragment The dengue fever is not usually followed by were
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace were with was
Sentence: Despite spending huge budget for curing dengue fever, it would be better if the government spend on residential area reclamation so it would become cleaner and liveable.
Description: The fragment government spend on is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace spend with verb, past participle
government were expected to provide clean water
government was expected to provide clean water
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Need a conclusion paragraph.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 262 350
No. of Characters: 1322 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.023 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.046 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.627 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.174 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.045 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5